A 27-year-old American bride has sparked heated debate across social media after creating what she called a 'singles sheet' for her wedding reception.
Jessica Branda's well-intentioned matchmaking attempt has divided the internet, with some calling it 'genius' while others brand it 'humiliating.'
The controversy began when Jessica posted a video showing her creation: a laminated sheet titled 'Tonight's Most Eligible,' featuring photos and names of all her single wedding guests, complete with the cheeky subtitle 'flirty, fabulous, and potentially your future plus-one.'
When Jessica Branda tied the knot on June 30 in Hackensack, New Jersey, she decided to put pictures of all of her single friends on laminated sheets of paper and give them to the guests.
Her goal was simple: help her single friends mingle and possibly find love.
'I saw the idea on TikTok from someone else and thought it would be a funny light hearted addition to the reception.'
The great divide: Love it or loathe it
The reaction was swift and polarising. Critics slammed the practice as embarrassing and invasive.
One social user declared, 'If I went to a wedding and saw myself on one of these, I'd take back my gift,' while another wrote: 'No sorry this is giving humiliation. I'm married but if I was single and a friend did this to me I'd take my gift back and walk out.'
But supporters praised Jessica's creativity and intentions. One defender wrote: 'It's called have a little fun and try something out of the box. Not that serious people lol.'
Jessica herself was surprised by the backlash. 'I know my friends and they're not too sensitive so I knew no one would be upset or feel "humiliated" as some have commented,' she explained. She later confirmed with her wedding guests that none took offence.
An ancient practice in modern dress
What many critics may not realise is that wedding matchmaking has ancient roots. China's institutional matchmaking tradition stretches back more than 2,000 years, to the first imperial marriage broker in the late Zhou dynasty.
Matchmaking was also one of the peripheral functions of the village priest in Medieval Catholic society, as well as a duty of rabbis in traditional Jewish communities. Today, the shidduch is a system of matchmaking in which Jewish singles are introduced to one another in Orthodox Jewish communities.
Ancient matchmaking traditions
From the promnestria of Ancient Greece to the nakodo in Japan, matchmakers have played crucial roles in societies worldwide. Many cultures even considered it a sacred duty.
The earliest documented matchmaking in the Jewish community during the Middle Ages arose from the challenges of small, semi-isolated communities, where parents often hired a shadkhan to find a spouse for their children.
What wedding experts actually think
Modern wedding professionals have strong opinions about singling out unmarried guests.
Wedding planner Thompson advises: 'Nix the idea of a "singles" table. You may have been playing matchmaker behind the scenes to see if you could set your old co-worker up with your cousin, but this may embarrass your guests or make them feel uncomfortable. Instead, you can sprinkle the singles in with their married or couple friends to give them a sense of comfort.'
Source: @jessicabrandaa / Tiktok.
Wedding forum discussions reveal mixed feelings. One user noted: 'I think the bride and groom honestly believe they're doing the single people a favor because maybe they can make a connection and spend the reception together. But that's not gonna happen when you force them into a super awkward situation.'
Some innovations have been more warmly received. A bride and groom reportedly created a 'singles newspaper' for their friends, featuring a photo and short paragraph for each guest, similar to a dating app profile.
The psychology behind the backlash
The strong reactions may reflect deeper concerns about privacy and consent in the social media age. Jessica's approach essentially created dating profiles for people without explicitly asking their permission – something that feels particularly invasive to many.
Etiquette expert Myka Meier noted: 'To be a good guest, you should be a present and active participant in the celebration... Keep in mind that every couple has a limited number of people they can invite, and they chose you.'
An Australian perspective
'Australian weddings are unique because couples are encouraged to put their own spin on things and express their personalities,' says wedding photographer Rhianna May.
Community involvement often appears in subtler traditions, like the unity bowl, where family and friends contribute stones with their names to symbolise their support for the marriage.
Wedding matchmaking considerations
- Always ask permission before including someone in matchmaking efforts
- Consider alternatives like introducing people naturally during conversations
- Focus on shared interests rather than single status
- Respect guests' privacy and comfort levels
Most of the time, the stones vary in colors to represent the different families and for specifics, they also have the names of whoever put them in a bowl. After the ceremony, the newlyweds receive the unity bowl as a gift to remember the devotion and support of their loved ones.
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[1] Bride who created 'singles sheet' for her wedding defends idea - Daily Mail - https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-14997355/bride-wedding-singles-sheet-backlash.html
[2] Matchmaking in Ancient China - China Highlights - https://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-wedding/matchmaker.htm
[3] The Shadchan: The Traditional Jewish Matchmaker - My Jewish Learning - https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-shadchan/
[4] Why You Shouldn’t Have a Singles Table at Your Wedding - Brides - https://www.brides.com/story/singles-table-at-wedding
[5] Wedding forum discussion on singles tables - WeddingWire - https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/singles-table-at-wedding
[6] Bride’s ‘singles newspaper’ matchmaking idea - News.com.au - https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/r...l/news-story/b40f3c5dd9a043b8e27965e21d72b7f7
[7] How to Be a Good Wedding Guest - Myka Meier Etiquette - https://www.etiquetteexpert.com/being-a-good-wedding-guest/
[8] Australian Wedding Traditions - Wedding Academy Global - https://www.weddingacademyglobal.com/australian-weddings/
[9] Wedding Trends to Watch in 2024 - Brides - https://www.brides.com/story/wedding-trends-2024
[10] The Knot Wedding Planning Trends Report - The Knot - https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-planning-trends
[11] Wedding Rules and Etiquette: What’s Changing - Brides - https://www.brides.com/story/wedding-rules-and-etiquette
What do you think about Jessica's singles sheet experiment? Would you be flattered or mortified to find yourself featured? Have you experienced any memorable matchmaking attempts at Australian weddings? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below!
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