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Friday night in the Boozer
It’s 12:30 on a Friday night, and old Jimmy is parked on his favorite stool in his favorite pub, roaring drunk as usual. He drains his latest pint, slaps the glass down on the bar, and bellows, “ ‘ere now, barkeep, lets have another!” The bartender, who’s great good friends with Jimmy, says, “You’ve ‘ad enough, old chum, you need to go ‘ome now, and sleep it off.” Jimmy is indignant, and splutters, “That’s a load of crap mate, I’m fine!” His old friend refuses. Getting mad now, Jimmy says, “ I’m fine and I’ll prove it!” He slides off the stool, tries to take a step, and falls flat on his gob! “You can’t walk, Jimmy, now go home!” says the bartender. Jimmy tries again, with the same result, then crawls to the door, pulls himself up on it, and falls right over again. “Maybe I am a wee bit pished,” he thinks to himself. “I’d better just get home.” His flat is just three doors from the pub so he crawls home, lets himself in, and crawls into bed with his sleeping wife.
Next morning about nine o’clock, Jimmy is awakened by the sound of the phone ringing and his wife answering it. She listens for a moment, says, “Right then” and hangs up. She turns to poor Jimmy, glaring angrily at him, and says, “Well, you’ve done it again, you pig, you big drunken idiot you!”
“What is it I’ve done again, my dear?” asks Jimmy meekly.
“You’ve left your wheelchair at the pub again!”
