Former Royal butler reveals secrets to treating guests like kings and queens

From famously crisp table manners to the intricate art of tea-making, the Royal Family is famous for its dedication to protocol and meticulous attention to detail.

These practices, however, are not just reserved for royal engagements—they are part of everyday palace life, a detail that former royal butler Grant Harrold knows too well.



Having served as a butler to the King and Queen Consort from 2005 to 2011, Harrold has acquired a wealth of expertise when it comes to creating the royal experience.

Besides attending to the high-ranking royals, including Prince William, Prince Harry, and the late Queen Elizabeth II, Harrold has now shifted his efforts towards helping others add a regal touch to their day-to-day interactions.


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Former Royal butler Grant Harrold shared his tips on hosting parties. Credit: Shutterstock


Below, we share some of Harrold’s tips on how you can make your guests feel like royalty.

He noted you ‘don't have to break the bank to make your home feel luxurious’.

A Grand Welcome

Offering a royal welcome doesn’t necessarily require a red carpet or heralds.

Start with a simple yet sincere greeting corresponding to the time of day—'good morning', 'good afternoon', or 'good evening'.

Combine this with a ‘polite, firm handshake’ and ‘step to the side and allow them to pass by you first before closing the door, offering to take their coat or jacket as they enter the home’.

Harrold also suggested enhancing your entryway with a ‘calming ambience’, perhaps by lighting a candle or spraying a refreshing scent. Even small decorative touches, such as fresh flowers or neatly displayed throw cushions, can make your guests feel special.

Furthermore, consider ‘placing a small bowl of mints or chocolates near the entryway to your home is an eloquent way to welcome any guests’.



The Perfect Cuppa

Offering guests something to drink or ‘tuck into’ is a staple and a ‘must-do’ when hosting guests.

‘No royal welcome would be complete without a refreshment–always remember to ask your guest if they’d like a cup of tea, coffee or a cool beverage before they sit down and prepare to enjoy some top-notch hosting.'

According to Harrold, there are also rules when it comes to making tea.

'Ensure that you pour the tea first, followed by the milk. From my experience, this is exactly how the royals like to do it,’ he said.

Initiating Engaging Conversations

Harrold noted, ‘No matter how well-acquainted you are with your guests, it is essential that they feel catered to just as though you were meeting for the first time.’

'The polite way to start any conversation is to ask your guest how they are before talking to them about yourself, which showcases your appreciation for their presence and the time you have together.'


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Harrold said to engage in conversations with the guests to make them feel welcome. Credit: Shutterstock


Setting Your Dinner Table the Right Way

The layout of your dining table plays a massive role in the overall eating experience for your guests.

'You certainly don’t have to invest in expensive silverware or extravagant placemats, but setting up your table or dining area with the correct placements will create a prim and proper experience,' Harrold said.

According to the etiquette expert, dinner plates should be at the centre and side plates should be on the left of the dinner plate, with a butter knife sitting on top of it.

‘Depending on the number of courses, there should be three pairs of cutlery per person. Forks should be to the left of the plate, with knives placed to the right and blade edges facing downwards,’ Harrold said.

‘Place the dessert fork and dessert spoon above the plate, with the fork prongs facing right and the spoon bowl facing left.’



Hosting Like Royalty

Harrold said any good dinner party requires ‘exceptional hosting’.

Guests should always be seated first, and the host must ensure each of their glasses must be ‘handsomely topped up with a beverage of their choice’ before sitting down.

‘Politely address your guests by thanking them for attending, and then introduce each course you have on the menu. When it's time to tuck in, wait until each guest has their meal in front of them before beginning to eat yourself,’ he said.

'Ensure that the table is cleared between each course, taking away any used cutlery and napkins and replenishing when necessary. Your guests shouldn't have to lift a finger.'

On Dressing Etiquette

To look as royal as possible, Harrold strongly advised avoiding casual wear like leggings, tracksuits, and jogging bottoms, especially in public.

‘These items may be fine in the privacy of one's home, but when in public, try to wear items that are something a king or queen will wear and always remember to wear your invisible crown, he said.



Now that you’ve learned the ‘royal’ way of treating your guests at home, it’s time to impress them with your dishes!

In a previous story, a chef shared some simple but delicious dishes—from mains to desserts.

These recipes are designed to impress with minimum effort. You can learn more about the recipes here.
Key Takeaways

  • Grant Harrold, a former royal butler, provided insider tips to make house guests feel like royalty, including how to serve the perfect cup of tea and how to greet guests properly.
  • Essential etiquette includes asking guests about their well-being before discussing oneself and ensuring the dining table is correctly set with the appropriate cutlery and dinnerware placements.
  • For a truly 'royal' experience, guests should not have to do anything at a dinner party; they should be seated first, and their needs should be anticipated and catered for by the host.
  • There are particular clothing items, like leggings, tracksuits, and jogging bottoms, that royals avoid wearing in public, and Harrold advised dressing as a king or queen would dress, always remembering to wear your 'invisible crown'.
What other etiquette have you been doing when hosting parties? Let us know in the comments below!
 
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Always remember, if any guests are rude. It's permissible to have them dragged out and chained up under the house during the meal, but the beheading should be delayed until after everyone else has finished their food.
 
What sort of staff ever engage with guests, seen and not heard, they're not there to do more than take their coat and lead to the host.
 
When milk is added to tea the enzymes formed are different from those when the tea is added to the milk. There is definitely a different taste. Since tea bags have come into use usually the milk is added last. I now drink black tea because of this.
 

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