On the first episode of Channel Nine’s new reality TV show Parental Guidance, the topic of smacking your children was brought to the forefront by “strict” parents Andrew and Miriam, causing an ‘emotional’ response from some of the participants.

This show will have every Australian parent comparing and asking whether their methods are suitable and what sort of parent they are. Photo from Nine.
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Hosted by Today’s Allison Langdon and parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson, the show looks at different parenting styles adopted by ten sets of parents, and by the end, will decide which style works the best.

The first episode premiered on Monday night and started on an uncomfortable ground amongst the group after ‘strict’ parents Miriam and Andrew admitted they smack their children as a form of discipline.

“We see smacking as one tool in parenting, and it’s by no means the first tool that comes out of that toolbox,” said mother-of-three Miriam, as the rest of the parents disagreed and shook their heads in the background.

Her husband, Andrew, added that “a smack quickly communicates [that] there are boundaries, there are consequences, [and] you can’t just do whatever you want”.
The conversation immediately heated when Donna, who uses the ‘French nouveau’ style of parenting, said, “ [It’s] corporal punishment. You’re violating someone else’s body.”

Her husband Yann agreed, saying: “It doesn’t sit well with me.”

Donna continued, “It is a form of abuse. I’m getting a visceral response to this.”

The spotlight stayed firmly on the ‘strict’ couple.

Andrew, a minister at a Christian church, acknowledged the ‘controversial’ topic and tried to explain the reasoning behind their parenting choice.

“Let’s acknowledge that. And in that space, it’s good to listen and to hear [a] story. I was raised in a household where my parents smacked me, and Miriam experienced the same,” he said.

“We make sure that we have gone through the other different tools and tried different ways; and if there is a situation that has that purpose or defiance and we feel that in that particular situation that [smacking is] the most effective tool, we ask the child to come to us, we don’t chase them around the house, and the smack is delivered on the bottom,” Miriam said.

‘Attachment’ parents Lara and Andrew were also against the smacking, with Lara saying that smacking is “a big, fat no” in her parenting book.

The couple’s admission to ‘smacking their children’ was met with visceral response from other parents. Photo from Nine.
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Later in a challenge that followed – which saw the children “become the parents” – Andrew and Miriam’s kids focused heavily on their mum and dad’s preferred form of discipline, causing a strong reaction from the other participants and from the ‘strict’ couple themselves.

“Is that really how the kids see us?” Miriam was a bit confronted by what she saw.

Husband Andrew teared up and became emotional when asked if one of the reasons he was on the show was to “abolish” smacking from his parenting toolbox.
“I’ve been challenged to think – how do I correct? Is that the best way?”

He continued, “But we want to be the best parents that we can be, and we want to love our children and see them grow. We all love our kids a lot; you don’t want to do anything as a parent that will give baggage to your kids.”

“We’re doing our best. This is a good conversation to have, and for us, it’s been hard but helpful.”

Andrew and Miriam grew up happily in the country with strict parents, the parenting style they have continued with their own family. Photo from New Idea.
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Dr Coulson explained, “the research is evident; smacking does not serve our children well. It doesn’t help them to grow or develop.”

“Just recently, there’s been new studies that have come out about how harsh punitive parenting – including smacking – is associated with reduced brain size in children.”

“It’s a hard thing to say in a room like this, but it needs to be said. There just isn’t any evidence to support smacking as a useful parenting tool. It’s one that does need to come out of the toolkit.”

When you were raising your kids, what did you think of smacking? And has modern parenting taken a crazy turn? Let us know in the comments below.

 

[Vinylted]

I smacked ours very rarely and only after repeated warnings, that said I asked my youngest son (now in his 50's) did he ever remember being smacked... his answer was no. Was he scarred for life.. no, Is he a good human being being yes, and raises his own young family with the modern no smack guidelines in place. But as a wise man once said kid's respond well to pats on the back, but occasionally a bit lower and harder is warranted.

 

[LadyMoonlight]

Same with me. My kids got a good smack on the arse when they deserved it. Start young and after a time, they just don't need to be smacked on the backside anymore because they grow up well disciplined. As a teacher, I daily saw the results of no smacking parenting! No thank you. I am glad my kids were born when they were (70s) and we knew to do parenting right.

 

[StrictlyShannon]

When you use physical punishment to discipline a child, you are using their fear of being smacked. There is a difference between punishment and discipline. Punishment invokes fear, discipline invokes self-discipline. As parents, you job is to use strategies that will have them making good choices as adults. Smacking is fear, take the fear away and you take the motivation away. Natural or enforced consequences work. Not anger, not physical abuse (because that is what smacking is), just consequences. By the way, I’m 70 years old so not some young Mum.

 

[Elbe]

To probably be really unfashionable, the bible says 'spare the rod & spoil the child' for good reason. Discipline is vital for youngsters and even animals smack their young because smacking is simply guidance. It helps develop a healthy respect and teaches youngsters consequences - many of which are vital for safety. Smacking is far less onerous - to both parent and child - than trying to put old heads on young shoulders talking to them. Youngsters learn by experience. Generations of humans used smacking to successfully create decent responsible and respectful people and when compared to current examples of popular parenting styles I know which I prefer.

 

[Titch]

I grew up in the days that if you did something wrong you were punished, a good smack( not on the head) never hurt anyone.
Todays world has gone MAD with all this PC crap.
I actually saw on the news that some IDIOT said you should ask your baby PERMISSION to change their nappy.
I almost fell out of my chair in disbelieve, look at what is happening in our schools.
NO discipline spells disaster, i worked at a high school and the way some teachers were treated was disgraceful, who would want to be a teacher today.
I am so glad i grew up in the 50"s 60"s and early 70's.

 

[CMC]

Recently on Facebook, I saw a story about some kids who had thrown stones at houses on Halloween night and I commented who are the parents and their kids should be found and given a flogging. Apparently Facebook deleted my comment from the site!!!!! Since when is flogging a banned word??? Some kids certainly need it too.

 

[Rowdy1961]

Jails are full of young adults who have no idea of right and wrong. Many are involved in serious lawless activities. This is due to parenting not providing appropriate living skills and standards. The use if corporal punishment has been always used to teach children right from wrong. Changes in society standards in education and discipline has created a nightmare for society and these poor children are the outcome. So many young adults and adolescents act so irresponsibly and selfishly.