[Mikev]

Dad Joke ​

A gardener friend suggested I put horse manure on my strawberries.

Tried it.
I’m going back to cream.

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Someone stole all the toilet seats from the police station. The officers have nothing to go on.

 

[Gunpark]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Someone stole all the toilet seats from the police station. The officers have nothing to go on.

Sounds like a bum deal.

 

[HelenB55]

I’ll never look at Strawberries the same way again

 

[HelenB55]

Dennis R’s joke:
It’s OK. They’ll get to the bottom of it

 

[Mikev]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. Someone stole all the toilet seats from the police station. The officers have nothing to go on.

Haha

 

[Luckyus]

Sorry Mikey...Fell out the cradle with that one?

 

[Mikeyboy2012]

Good one!

 

[magpie1]

Re Dennis's funny joke today.....I heard that the thief left his dirty fingerprints behind him and now they are sniffing out other clues to the thief's identity.....I'm sure that they will eventually get to the bottom of it for they will sit on it until they can finally shut this event once and for all.

 

[Luckyus]

‘Twas the last day of my trip to Australia,

my luck with the girls was a failure.

The short stay on this friggin’ big tanker

seemed set to make me a wanker.


But so determined was I to score

that I hurriedly made it ashore.

Before we set sail from Port Kembla,

I’d even accept a knee-trembler!


So off I goes in a hurry,

to find something soft and furry.

Soon I spies a sweet damsel - a loner,

and in seconds I have a big boner.


So I waves her to come a bit closer,

she smiles sweetly and says, “Hello sir!

Would you like a short time with Doris?”

I said, “Sure, let me at your sweet forest!”


So we clinch and squirm in embrace

as we kiss and I lick her cute face,

I suggest it’s time to lose knickers,

to which she just smiles and snickers.


“Kind sir,” she says and turns round,

“It’s better this way I have found.”

I’m past ready, I think, so don’t care,

any port in a storm for me’s fair.


She lifts up her skirt and bends over.

Talk about the white cliffs of Dover!

Though this night was getting near dark,

the sheen off her arse was quite stark.


By now I’m feeling so hot,

as I reach for that warm honey pot.

But I was in for a bloody big shock,

as my hand found two balls and a cock.


I screamed, “*****, bastard, or whatever!”

(A bigger surprise I’d had never!)

“You cow, you said you were Doris!”

“You twat, I said my name’s BORIS!”


I ran like a ‘Bat out of Hell’,

till I made it aboard - phew, all’s well.

They say, “Tell me, what’s in a name?”

“Lot’s,” I say, “It tells a bloke from a dame!”


I mused as we sailed from Port Kembla,

“Never more will I seek a knee trembler.”

Next time I find someone to poke,

I’ll check first, to make sure it’s no bloke!

 

[Mikev]

‘Twas the last day of my trip to Australia,

my luck with the girls was a failure.

The short stay on this friggin’ big tanker

seemed set to make me a wanker.


But so determined was I to score

that I hurriedly made it ashore.

Before we set sail from Port Kembla,

I’d even accept a knee-trembler!


So off I goes in a hurry,

to find something soft and furry.

Soon I spies a sweet damsel - a loner,

and in seconds I have a big boner.


So I waves her to come a bit closer,

she smiles sweetly and says, “Hello sir!

Would you like a short time with Doris?”

I said, “Sure, let me at your sweet forest!”


So we clinch and squirm in embrace

as we kiss and I lick her cute face,

I suggest it’s time to lose knickers,

to which she just smiles and snickers.


“Kind sir,” she says and turns round,

“It’s better this way I have found.”

I’m past ready, I think, so don’t care,

any port in a storm for me’s fair.


She lifts up her skirt and bends over.

Talk about the white cliffs of Dover!

Though this night was getting near dark,

the sheen off her arse was quite stark.


By now I’m feeling so hot,

as I reach for that warm honey pot.

But I was in for a bloody big shock,

as my hand found two balls and a cock.


I screamed, “*****, bastard, or whatever!”

(A bigger surprise I’d had never!)

“You cow, you said you were Doris!”

“You twat, I said my name’s BORIS!”


I ran like a ‘Bat out of Hell’,

till I made it aboard - phew, all’s well.

They say, “Tell me, what’s in a name?”

“Lot’s,” I say, “It tells a bloke from a dame!”


I mused as we sailed from Port Kembla,

“Never more will I seek a knee trembler.”

Next time I find someone to poke,

I’ll check first, to make sure it’s no bloke!

Very clever