[Wendy]

Birthday drinks​

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says. "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.."
The bartender says. "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says. "I would like to buy you a drink too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up." Says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says. "I would like to buy you one too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up." The bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says. "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies. "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."

 

[Dennis]

Must remember that.

 

[SirExton]

Bugger!! Damn and Blast! And that is swearing, as my mother use to say! I have been taking tablets for my weak bladder. I should have been drinking whisky all along!

 

[Hrynpa]

Birthday drinks​

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says. "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.."
The bartender says. "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says. "I would like to buy you a drink too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up." Says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says. "I would like to buy you one too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up." The bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says. "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies. "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."

Funny

 

[Bikkie mum]

Love it trying not to drink alcohol at night but when can I drink it
not during the day ,in case I have a fall smelling of it ,ambulance might say oh she is just drunk
never ever will I let that happen

 

[margie]

 

[Sebastian Pereira]

Birthday drinks​

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says. "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.."
The bartender says. "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says. "I would like to buy you a drink too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up." Says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says. "I would like to buy you one too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up." The bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says. "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies. "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."

Lol, Ho No I hope the old ladies are wearing nappies Hahaha.

 

[Johnlalor]

Birthday drinks​

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says. "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.."
The bartender says. "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says. "I would like to buy you a drink too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up." Says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says. "I would like to buy you one too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up." The bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says. "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies. "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."

 

[Johnlalor]

Dear Dorothy I turn 80 next week so should I start drinking water or scotch instead of the beautiful 6 pack of gold I enjoy each day?

 

[MarkJohn]

Bugger!! Damn and Blast! And that is swearing, as my mother use to say! I have been taking tablets for my weak bladder. I should have been drinking whisky all along!

When I was diagnosed with diabetes the doctor said no more Bundy and Jamaican Rum. Then said SCOTCH is the order of the day, no sugar. DOCTORS PRESCRIPTION

 

[Johnlalor]

Bugger!! Damn and Blast! And that is swearing, as my mother use to say! I have been taking tablets for my weak bladder. I should have been drinking whisky all along!

Bugger!! Damn and Blast! And that is swearing, as my mother use to say! I have been taking tablets for my weak bladder. I should have been drinking whisky all along!

With a name like SirExton I would have thought you would have a sherry with a cigar Bugger!!Damn and Blast! I just threw my tablets down the drain but I will stick to my gold stubbies

 

[Ezzy]

Didn't see that coming. Thankyou for the laugh.

 

[Jarred Santos]

Love the replies, everyone! Thanks for this @Wendy! And if you have any you come across and would like to share, please feel free to post at the forum