[Luckyus]

Betty Swallocks (a Ronnie Barker show allegedly on t.v.in the seventies)​

This is the story of Rindercelella and her sugly isters.Rindercelle and her snugly isters lived in a marge Lansing.Rindercelle worked very hard drubbing sloops ,emptying poss pits and snivelling shot.At the end of the day she was knocking fackered.The sugly isters were right burly asterds one was called Mary Hinge the othe Betty Swalloks they were really forrible hackers they had sweet and fetty swannies.the sugly isters had tickers to go to the ball,but the cotton runts would not let Rindercelle go.Suddenly there was a buckin fang,and a gairy fodmother appeared .her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a right rucking fesbian.She pumpkin and six mite wice into a cube farriage with six dandy ronkins who had bulge hollocks and dig bricks.the hairy fodmother told Rindercelle to be back by dimnlight otherwise there would be a falamity
at the ball Rindercelle was dancing with a prandsome hincewhen suddenly the clock struck twelve Mist all chucking frightly said Rindercelle and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks so dropping her slash glipper.The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercelles door and the sugly isters let him in suddenly Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let of a fig Bart,who dust jarted said asked the prandsome hince??.Blame that fugly hucker over there said Mary Hinge.When the stinking brown cloud had lifted he tried the slash glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet sticking funk.Betty Swallocks was ducking fistgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.This was not difficult as he had bucking fudge halls and a big bard on.he tried the slash glipper on Rindercelle and it fitted pucking ferfectly.Rindercelle and the prandsome hince were married the prandsome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury ,and Rindercelle lived hers with a follen swanny.
Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms and not pis,,ng your pants as you read it.