Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by retired psychologist/ member @Joy Straw.

Several people have commented on the forum about dealing with aggressive behaviour, usually related to neighbours. It can be difficult to confront hostile behaviour when it is so close to home. The following are some ideas for approaching belligerent behaviour.



When confronted by an aggressive person, our body goes into fight/flight/freeze mode:

1. Flight mode is usually the better option, as staying may only increase aggression
2. Freeze mode means an inability to get away or even call for help
3. Fight mode is often the most common reaction, e.g. ‘You can’t say that to me,’ ‘Who do you think you are?’, or the all too frequent rant using expletives.

These are all normal reactions. However, one only has to read the news to see the results of fight mode—the last thing you want is to be arrested, whether you are in the right or wrong.



Rather, it is advised to seek ways to de-escalate a hostile situation. Have a look on Facebook to see how police are trained to use a quiet tone and a non-confrontational attitude (also, notice what happens when police don’t use those strategies). There are several other approaches that can be used to de-escalate a situation before it gets out of hand. A quiet voice and a gentle and respectful manner can go a long way in helping to resolve the issues in a positive manner.



Key things for dealing with aggressiveness

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