Are older adults overlooked in the sex toy industry?
Sexuality is a natural part of the human experience that lasts throughout life.
However, for older adults, discussing intimate needs and exploring pleasure can be met with discomfort or taboos. But the Netflix sitcom Grace and Frankie—starring Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda—highlighted an interesting question: Where are the sex toys for older people?
According to a 2010 study by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), 85 per cent of men and 61 per cent of women aged 57-85 agreed that sex was an important part of quality of life.
Yet, mainstream depictions of sexuality tend to feature only the young.
'In our society and culture, we see sexuality displayed by a lot of very young people. But sexuality most certainly doesn’t turn off,' Lisa Lawless, a psychotherapist, remarked.

Unfortunately, senior sexuality has become an ageist punchline, even in some more ‘progressive’ shows. Despite all the shows featuring older women, there is a noticeable lack of representation of older adults in sexual scenarios.
This is why many people were hopeful that the show Grace and Frankie could help make senior sexuality a mainstream topic.
In one episode season, titular characters Grace and Frankie announced they were starting a business of creating vibrators for older women with arthritis.
Their fictional brainchild—called ‘Ménage à Moi’—will have a lightweight vibrator with plenty of features: a soft grip gel sleeve and glow-in-the-dark control buttons.
You can watch their promotional video here:
It all sounds ideal—except it doesn’t exist in the real world.
The show’s prop master, Emily Ferry, had scoured online and physical stores to find inspirations for the Ménage à Moi vibrator that they would need for the show.
‘There was nothing that I could find that was aimed at older women,’ she shared.
‘There were some items that [would make] someone say, “This would be good for older women,” but there was nothing that had been manufactured with the older woman in mind,’ she added.
Joan Price, an award-winning author who gives webinar on sex toys for seniors, said: ‘Sex toys are a gift to seniors.’
She continued: ‘So many things change as we age, or our medical conditions can get in the way. There are so many things going on, but for every problem, there is a solution.’
She has written three books that tackle senior sexuality and reviewed over a hundred different sex toys. Joan revealed that several questions can determine whether or not a sex toy can appeal to those in her age group. Some of these are:
But despite all this, Joan and Lisa were unsure if sex toys needed to be specifically created and marketed to older adults. After all, they noted that most vibrators currently on the market meet the physical needs of a senior.
The good news is some companies have begun addressing the forgotten demographic.
Tantus focuses on disability-inclusive designs, while Hot Octopuss' PULSE III works for men without needing an erection.
Adam Lewis, the founder of Hot Octopuss, shared: ‘As a company, we feel strongly that the industry needs to change its approach to ageing and sex (and disability and sex, which is a different but associated debate).’
Fiera aims to help partners reconnect through non-penetrative fun.
Joan stated: ‘Even though the marketing doesn’t show people with wrinkles—and yes, I absolutely, earnestly, think it should—many retailers and manufacturers are very interested in the demographic.’
‘We have the right to sexual pleasure lifelong,’ she added.
With insights from advocates and awareness rising, the industry may finally meet overlooked needs and give everyone the tools to enjoy life's pleasures.
What’s your take on this, members? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
However, for older adults, discussing intimate needs and exploring pleasure can be met with discomfort or taboos. But the Netflix sitcom Grace and Frankie—starring Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda—highlighted an interesting question: Where are the sex toys for older people?
According to a 2010 study by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), 85 per cent of men and 61 per cent of women aged 57-85 agreed that sex was an important part of quality of life.
Yet, mainstream depictions of sexuality tend to feature only the young.
'In our society and culture, we see sexuality displayed by a lot of very young people. But sexuality most certainly doesn’t turn off,' Lisa Lawless, a psychotherapist, remarked.

The Netflix sitcom Grace and Frankie highlighted a gap in the market of sex toys for older people. Credit: cottonbro studio / Pexels
Unfortunately, senior sexuality has become an ageist punchline, even in some more ‘progressive’ shows. Despite all the shows featuring older women, there is a noticeable lack of representation of older adults in sexual scenarios.
This is why many people were hopeful that the show Grace and Frankie could help make senior sexuality a mainstream topic.
In one episode season, titular characters Grace and Frankie announced they were starting a business of creating vibrators for older women with arthritis.
Their fictional brainchild—called ‘Ménage à Moi’—will have a lightweight vibrator with plenty of features: a soft grip gel sleeve and glow-in-the-dark control buttons.
You can watch their promotional video here:
It all sounds ideal—except it doesn’t exist in the real world.
The show’s prop master, Emily Ferry, had scoured online and physical stores to find inspirations for the Ménage à Moi vibrator that they would need for the show.
‘There was nothing that I could find that was aimed at older women,’ she shared.
‘There were some items that [would make] someone say, “This would be good for older women,” but there was nothing that had been manufactured with the older woman in mind,’ she added.
Joan Price, an award-winning author who gives webinar on sex toys for seniors, said: ‘Sex toys are a gift to seniors.’
She continued: ‘So many things change as we age, or our medical conditions can get in the way. There are so many things going on, but for every problem, there is a solution.’
She has written three books that tackle senior sexuality and reviewed over a hundred different sex toys. Joan revealed that several questions can determine whether or not a sex toy can appeal to those in her age group. Some of these are:
- Is it ergonomic or lightweight?
- Can it go for long periods without overheating or running out of charge?
- Can the controls be easily identified without having to use reading glasses?
But despite all this, Joan and Lisa were unsure if sex toys needed to be specifically created and marketed to older adults. After all, they noted that most vibrators currently on the market meet the physical needs of a senior.
The good news is some companies have begun addressing the forgotten demographic.
Tantus focuses on disability-inclusive designs, while Hot Octopuss' PULSE III works for men without needing an erection.
Adam Lewis, the founder of Hot Octopuss, shared: ‘As a company, we feel strongly that the industry needs to change its approach to ageing and sex (and disability and sex, which is a different but associated debate).’
Fiera aims to help partners reconnect through non-penetrative fun.
Joan stated: ‘Even though the marketing doesn’t show people with wrinkles—and yes, I absolutely, earnestly, think it should—many retailers and manufacturers are very interested in the demographic.’
‘We have the right to sexual pleasure lifelong,’ she added.
With insights from advocates and awareness rising, the industry may finally meet overlooked needs and give everyone the tools to enjoy life's pleasures.
Key Takeaways
- The Netflix sitcom Grace and Frankie has highlighted the lack of sex toys designed for older adults.
- The series focused on developing a vibrator designed and marketed for older women, especially those with arthritis. However, such a product doesn't exist in reality, indicating a gap in the market.
- There is a persistent lack of representation of older adults in sexual scenarios and products, underscoring an issue of ageism in the industry despite studies showing older adults maintain an active interest in sex.
- Some companies like Tantus and Hot Octopuss have been creating sex toys with disabled and older users in mind, indicating a slow shift in acknowledging older adults' need for sexual pleasure.
What’s your take on this, members? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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