[Luckyus]

An Ideal Present For a Keen Golfer​

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day, the wife feeling bad about what happened, decided to buy her husband a gift. Since he was an avid golfer, she went to the pro shop at the club where he usually played golf. The wife talked with the pro, and he suggested a putter and showed her one of his finest. "How much is it?" she asked. "One-hundred and fifty dollars," he replied. She felt that was kind of expensive and told him so. "But it comes with an inscription," the pro said. "What kind of inscription?" she asked. "Whatever you wish," he explained. "But, one of the old golfers' favorites is: 'Never Up, Never In'." "Oh, that will never do!" exclaimed the wife. "That's what started the argument in the first place."

 

[SirExton]

Two ladies had just started playing a round of golf, when one of the women was hit by a wayward golf ball, which knocked her out flat on the fairway!
The friend ran back to the club house and once inside, she shouted 'Is there a doctor in the club?"
A much older gentleman replied "I am a doctor, how can I help?"
The Lady said " my friend who I am playing with, was hit by a golf ball and it knocked her out cold!"
The old doctor said "and were did this happen?"
The Lady said "between the first and second hole!"
The doctor said "well there won't be enough space there for a plaster, now will there!"

 

[Veggiepatch]

A millionaire and an Average Joe roll up to the first hole of an exclusive golf course. Average Joe has a gorilla with him.

The millionaire notices the two golf bags and enquires if the gorilla is playing as well. Joe replies "Yes. He is".

The millionaire says "I tell you what. I play the gorilla for $1000 a hole". Joe's eyes light up and says "You're on!"

Joe tees off first on the 500 yard par five and hits a wormburner about 180 yards.

Mr Millionaire goes next and hits a perfectly straight drive of 280 yards.

The gorilla is last and goes "THWACK!" The ball goes and goes and goes.

They walk up to the green and the gorilla's ball is about 10 feet from the pin! The millionaire cries out "This is no contest - here's $18000 - I give up!"

Average Joe pockets the money and starts to walk off when the millionaire says "By the way. How does he putt?"

Average Joe replies "About the same as he drives - about 500 yards".

 

[Luckyus]

Two ladies had just started playing a round of golf, when one of the women was hit by a wayward golf ball, which knocked her out flat on the fairway!
The friend ran back to the club house and once inside, she shouted 'Is there a doctor in the club?"
A much older gentleman replied "I am a doctor, how can I help?"
The Lady said " my friend who I am playing with, was hit by a golf ball and it knocked her out cold!"
The old doctor said "and were did this happen?"
The Lady said "between the first and second hole!"
The doctor said "well there won't be enough space there for a plaster, now will there!"

That's older than mine?

 

[SirExton]

That's older than mine?

What the injury or the age of the doctor??

 

[gordon1940]

The Club Pro was tutoring a Lady Member on Putting. Now, as the Lady wore a Skirt with the Zipper at the back and the Pro had his Zipper at the front, both became entangled and locked. While they were both jumping around and wriggling, a large Dog ran out and threw a big bucket of water over them!!

 

[Littleboy8]

The Club Pro was tutoring a Lady Member on Putting. Now, as the Lady wore a Skirt with the Zipper at the back and the Pro had his Zipper at the front, both became entangled and locked. While they were both jumping around and wriggling, a large Dog ran out and threw a big bucket of water over them!!

 

[SirExton]

This is the best Golf Joke ever, from Billy Connolly God Bless him!