[Luckyus]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

 

[Dennis]

Something stinks with this joke.

 

[Pat T]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

 

[mylittletibbies]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

 

[Buchanfarmer]

Haven’t stopped laughing yet

 

[Lesle]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

Well I wasn’t expecting that

 

[UruauP]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

Now, that's a joke! Happy Sunday

 

[Emmy Im12]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

 

[Mina vriesekolk]

Different , had a good laugh..

 

[WADuck]

Haven’t stopped laughing yet

Me either

 

[margie]

 

[Loubeauxarts]

Now that was funny

 

[Jest]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

OH! so funny, a good giggle. thanks for this.

 

[Littleboy8]

Now, that's a joke! Happy Sunday

 

[TrixieLovesTigers]

Am I Dead​

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry. “If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.” Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

Hahahaha

 

[Macarj]

Heard many jokes in my life my mate was a great joke teller but I've never heard that one before

 

[Tygie]