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ALTERED WORDS​

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition.

Here are the winners:
1. CASHTRATION (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. IGNORANUS : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. INTAXICATION : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. REINTARNATION : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. BOZONE (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.
6. FOREPLOY: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting laid.
7. GIRAFITTI: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. SARCHASM: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn't get it.
9. INOCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
10. OSTEOPORNOSIS : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
11. KARMAGEDDON : It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. DECAFALON: The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. GLIBIDO : All talk and no action.
14. DOPELER EFFECT : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. BEELZEBUG (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. CATERPALLOR (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a
worm in the fruit you're eating.