[Xe]

AIBU for not letting my dad get a paternity test?​

My dad wants to get a paternity test because he's recently gotten convinced I'm not his real daughter. My mum ran away to another country with some guy when I was 8 years old and lately my dad's gotten really sure she was cheating on him long before that and I'm actually someone else's baby. He keeps talking about how paternity fraud is a big issue and he needs a paternity test to be sure he's not getting suckered into raising another man's kid.

I don't know why this is only coming up now, and honestly, it really hurts my feelings that he says "I don't think you're really my kid". I'm biased obviously but I don't think I'm a difficult kid, I get good grades, I don't drink or do drugs or smoke, I don't talk back, I do my chores. So why does it feel like he's so desperate for me to not be his? Does he hate being my dad that much?

Even though I'm pretty sure I am his real daughter, because we look pretty similar, I'm kinda scared of what might happen if we find out I'm not. Would he stop caring about me? Would he kick me out? I have nowhere to go. So even though he's fully set on getting a test, I'm refusing, and he's mad about it. I even told him I would consider doing it when I'm 18 (I'm 16 now, it's not that long to wait) but apparently, he needs it right now. AIBU for refusing?

 

[KatKop]

My dad wants to get a paternity test because he's recently gotten convinced I'm not his real daughter. My mum ran away to another country with some guy when I was 8 years old and lately my dad's gotten really sure she was cheating on him long before that and I'm actually someone else's baby. He keeps talking about how paternity fraud is a big issue and he needs a paternity test to be sure he's not getting suckered into raising another man's kid.

I don't know why this is only coming up now, and honestly, it really hurts my feelings that he says "I don't think you're really my kid". I'm biased obviously but I don't think I'm a difficult kid, I get good grades, I don't drink or do drugs or smoke, I don't talk back, I do my chores. So why does it feel like he's so desperate for me to not be his? Does he hate being my dad that much?

Even though I'm pretty sure I am his real daughter, because we look pretty similar, I'm kinda scared of what might happen if we find out I'm not. Would he stop caring about me? Would he kick me out? I have nowhere to go. So even though he's fully set on getting a test, I'm refusing, and he's mad about it. I even told him I would consider doing it when I'm 18 (I'm 16 now, it's not that long to wait) but apparently, he needs it right now. AIBU for refusing?

Wow, this is a difficult position you're in, but I'm on your side.

Is he quite open to discussing the matter? If so, you could ask him to tell you what his reaction and future plans will be if a test proves that a) you are and b) you're not his biological child. He might have no intention to desert you, but he's hurting and seemingly not aware of what influence his words have on you?