[Xe]

AIBU for banning my girlfriend from my car after she lied about an emergency?​

My girlfriend (F22) can't drive. She had her dad as her cab driver before but once we moved in together I (M25) started driving her to wherever she wants to go. For the record, I work long hours in a stressful field. Many times she's asked me to leave work so I could drive her places. I got into trouble at work because of it as it seemed unprofessional of me to just leave work to drive her places. I told her how this had been affecting my job and she started using public transportation since her dad wasn't available.

She's now 3 months pregnant and she explicitly said that she won't be using public transportation as long as she's pregnant due to her fears of health issues that public transportation could pose the baby to and told me to be ready for her calls any time so I could drive her anywhere she wants. I said absolutely not. I have a job that I want to keep to be able to provide for the baby and told her that unless it's an emergency, I won't leave work just to drive her around.

She was upset and tried to guilt me about how absent and selfish I'm becoming as a father and basically shamed me for letting her resort to public transportation instead of being worried about her and the baby's health.

The issue then died but a few days ago I got a call from her at work at 11 am telling me that she was feeling excruciating pain in her belly and that she was potentially having a miscarriage and wanted me to drive her to the ER ASAP. I told my boss and he said go.

I drove like crazy to get to the apartment complex, I ran upstairs and once I opened the door I found her sitting on the chair dressed in a casual outfit, makeup on, and chewing gum. She got up talking about how late I was and I asked what about her horrible pain? Then she said she was fine but told me a little white lie so I could take time off work and drive her to the mall where her girlfriends were since it was the "only way''.

I lost my mind on her and called her immature and irresponsible for thinking this was okay or normal. She argued she knew I was going to say no so she lied and I made her lie after showing complete disregard for her and our baby. I told her that from now on out I will not be driving her anywhere in my car no matter what. Never again. EVER.

She called her dad on me then left. He came over to my parents' house the next day and literally unleashed his nastiness on me calling me a low life to treat his daughter like this and banned her from getting near my car. My family was watching as he said that I was abusing his daughter and called me a fool to think he won't put me in my place once I overstep. My uncle had an argument with him and had him leave.

One of my family said my girlfriend is my baby's mother and family after all and I might've overreacted but I might lose my job now. AIBU?

Context: My girlfriend can not drive for medical reasons and not by choice.

Source: www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r93aq9/

 

[Goodbloke]

My girlfriend (F22) can't drive. She had her dad as her cab driver before but once we moved in together I (M25) started driving her to wherever she wants to go. For the record, I work long hours in a stressful field. Many times she's asked me to leave work so I could drive her places. I got into trouble at work because of it as it seemed unprofessional of me to just leave work to drive her places. I told her how this had been affecting my job and she started using public transportation since her dad wasn't available.

She's now 3 months pregnant and she explicitly said that she won't be using public transportation as long as she's pregnant due to her fears of health issues that public transportation could pose the baby to and told me to be ready for her calls any time so I could drive her anywhere she wants. I said absolutely not. I have a job that I want to keep to be able to provide for the baby and told her that unless it's an emergency, I won't leave work just to drive her around.

She was upset and tried to guilt me about how absent and selfish I'm becoming as a father and basically shamed me for letting her resort to public transportation instead of being worried about her and the baby's health.

The issue then died but a few days ago I got a call from her at work at 11 am telling me that she was feeling excruciating pain in her belly and that she was potentially having a miscarriage and wanted me to drive her to the ER ASAP. I told my boss and he said go.

I drove like crazy to get to the apartment complex, I ran upstairs and once I opened the door I found her sitting on the chair dressed in a casual outfit, makeup on, and chewing gum. She got up talking about how late I was and I asked what about her horrible pain? Then she said she was fine but told me a little white lie so I could take time off work and drive her to the mall where her girlfriends were since it was the "only way''.

I lost my mind on her and called her immature and irresponsible for thinking this was okay or normal. She argued she knew I was going to say no so she lied and I made her lie after showing complete disregard for her and our baby. I told her that from now on out I will not be driving her anywhere in my car no matter what. Never again. EVER.

She called her dad on me then left. He came over to my parents' house the next day and literally unleashed his nastiness on me calling me a low life to treat his daughter like this and banned her from getting near my car. My family was watching as he said that I was abusing his daughter and called me a fool to think he won't put me in my place once I overstep. My uncle had an argument with him and had him leave.

One of my family said my girlfriend is my baby's mother and family after all and I might've overreacted but I might lose my job now. AIBU?

Context: My girlfriend can not drive for medical reasons and not by choice.

Source: www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r93aq9/

If she has so many friends they can come pick her up. You keep your job, providing for your new family is important, seems she requires a little more growing up yet.

 

[KatKop]

I think it's appalling that she used a pregnancy scare to lure you away from work. Has she never heard the story of the boy who cried wolf?

A solution might be to plan ahead with her. Make a quiet time with her during the weekend to discuss all the potential appointments she might have in the week ahead. Then together agree on whom she would approach to drive her to to the location, get her to contact the suggested person straightaway and confirm that the transportation is locked in. For social occasions (like in the example above), if she is hesitant about asking friends to drive out of their way, you could contact the friend yourself, explaining that you cannot take time off work. Most people know and understand this.

A last question - I take it that your girlfriend has never had a job? It might be good for her to get involved with a formal workplace - even if she does volunteer work - so that she develops more life skills before the baby is born.