[Athena E.]

AIBU 20.01.2025​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/One_Entrepreneur5686:

Am I being unreasonable for declining to 'fix' the errors I made in a blanket I crocheted for someone and taking it back instead?

'I made a blanket for my sister-in-law, Amanda, and I was able to give it to her last weekend. She’d asked for it in certain colours. I didn’t have any other projects on my to-do list, so I was happy to make it for her. I had most of the colours already, too, so it worked out.'

'When I gave it to her, she was excited, and she started to look it over; I figured it was to see how it was put together since she doesn’t crochet. After a little bit, she said that she loved the blanket, BUT she couldn’t help but notice some of the little mistakes I’d made along the way. I asked her what she meant, and she pointed out some things like I’d accidentally done one row of striping instead of three for one section, I’d switched to the wrong colour and threw off a “pattern” at some point, etc.'

'She handed it back to me and told me that she loves my progress with it and couldn’t wait to see the finished project. I told her that it was finished. She looked down at it and said that it wasn’t done until it was perfect, and I’d made several mistakes that I could easily go back to correct.'

'I was honestly dumbfounded by this. I hate the way perfectionists try to force their quirk onto others. I made this blanket for her for free out of my own free time because I love her. I told her that. She said she knows, and she loves me for it, but that she wouldn’t be able to use it because she wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but the mistakes.'

'I said whatever and took the blanket back and said that if she doesn’t want it, I’ll keep it. She looked surprised and said that she does want it, she just wants my best work and not something half-a**ed. I told her that if she thinks my crocheting A WHOLE BLANKET and making minimal errors is half-a**ing it, I’d rather just keep the blanket.'

'She’s so upset with me, and told me I was acting ridiculous and that it wouldn’t take me long to fix it. If you know anything about crochet you know that if I made an error on row 36 of a 1115 row blanket… that’s essentially starting over again. Anyway I come to you all: do you think I'm being unreasonable?'

 

[LLP]

o I do not believe you are unreasonable it takes a long time to crochet an item with that many rows I would have done the same and kept it myself or re-gifted it someone who would appreciate it

 

[gayle222]

How ungrateful. I crochet, not great but do it. I know what goes into a blanket ,how much yarn crocheting uses and how hard it would be to unpick numerous rows to get to the mistake. No just keep it or gift it to someone who would appreciate the time and love put into it. I actually feel hurt for you

 

[JKD]

Keep it and tell her you will teach her to crochet! That way she may realise the amount of work and effort put into it.

 

[Caroline257]

Oh my goodness - she is being unreasonable not you!
I crochet very small projects but I totally get that you cannot fix row 36 without undoing everything to get to that row.
How sad that she is, in my opinion, not only ungrateful but also rude for examining the blanket to ‘find’ errors!
Keep the blanket you made with love and suggest she learn to crochet and make her own ‘perfect’ blanket.

 

[SGH]

Tell her to make her own, if she is that picky surely she should be able to pick up a crotchet hook and do herself.

 

[electricblanket]

Tell her to make her own, if she is that picky surely she should be able to pick up a crotchet hook and do herself.

totally agree! In fact, any small error makes the blanket a prize for it shows it was handmade. Even Persian rugs have small errors which demonstrate their authenticity and proof that they are not machine made. Your sister in law is not only ungrateful, she is also rude and hurtful

 

[Nozmo]

I agree you should keep it or re-gift it.

 

[magpie1]

Don't get any more upset about this....she is ungrateful and rude in my opinion....keep it for yourself or gift it to someone else you know...ie a close friend, someone who will appreciate all of the time and effort that you have put into making it......and be happy, it's not worth being so upset with your ungrateful family member.

 

[Jo Piper3]

Maybe ask her to make you the prefect blanket.

 

[lsobel Castles]

Absolutely no. Apart from the fact that she's ungrateful, rude, unkind and unbelievable, keep the blanket yourself. You put effort, time,money and your experience to make the gift,keep it !, maybe one day you may choose to gift it to someone who appreciates you for the lovely effort you have gone to. I also am a craft person, so know how much trouble you have gone to. Pity she's married to your brother. Selfish to the inth!

 

[HelenFB]

Don’t give it back to your Sister-in-Law, she’s not worthy of such a time-consuming & loved gift. If it was me that requested the blanket, I would be grateful & happy about the “errors”. They show the authenticity of the product. But I would not have the gall to even examine the blanket for errors in the first place.
And, tell Santa that she is not nice…she doesn’t deserve other gifts either

 

[Luckyus]

'She’s so upset with me. I'd upset her alright the miserable bloody cow.

 

[relljube]

Either keep it yourself of give it to someone who shows you love and respect. I would tell her that you have given it away as she was not deserving of your efforts. (white lie - tell her you gave it to Animal Welfare or RSPCA) - that would really gall her!!

 

[Luckyus]

Either keep it yourself of give it to someone who shows you love and respect. I would tell her that you have given it away as she was not deserving of your efforts. (white lie - tell her you gave it to Animal Welfare or RSPCA) - that would really gall her!!

No I'd let her see me with it around my shoulders? because I'm a nice fellah.

 

[Ree]

Hand made gifts are rarely PERFECT which shows they are an authentic hand made article. The most important thing about a handmade gift is they are made with LOVE.
If your SIL does not understand that and must have perfect, tell her to buy a machine made blanket........they are always perfect.
I know which one I would want and appreciate more.

 

[Sylvsptr]

Keep it yourself...and I'd make sure it was on display on the couch when she comes to visit.
Ungrateful biatch.... shes def an out law not in law....ha ha

 

[Defiant540]

NO!