[James Gutierrez]

AIBU 15.03.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have:

Am I being unreasonable if I suggest to my adult son that it's time to start planning to move out after he's spent a year back home?

We're eager to hear your perspectives, members! Please, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

[Suzanne rose]

My kids are like boomerangs , they leave and come back.

My 38 year old came home after he separated from his wife.
He was home for 3 years and just recently moved in with his new partner. And if that doesn't work he will be back.

I would never tell them they needed to move out . Nope...no. .. definitely not. My door is always open

 

[Marilynne]

My kids are like boomerangs , they leave and come back.

My 38 year old came home after he separated from his wife.
He was home for 3 years and just recently moved in with his new partner. And if that doesn't work he will be back.

I would never tell them they needed to move out . Nope...no. .. definitely not. My door is always open

Mine are also boomerangs, let's face it the doors are revolving and are always open to them.

 

[Marilynne]

What a wonderful idea

 

[Jo Piper3]

My son 35 is moving home as the lease on his rental property is due to expire, his flat mates have moved on and it is very hard to find rental properties on the northern beaches in Sydney. Older son 38 has never left. They are our children (adults) after all.

 

[Suzanne rose]

My son 35 is moving home as the lease on his rental property is due to expire, his flat mates have moved on and it is very hard to find rental properties on the northern beaches in Sydney. Older son 38 has never left. They are our children (adults) after all.

Property anywhere in Sydney is hard to find and then the rental price is ridiculous.

My son is renting a one bedroom unit in Ryde for $700 a week

 

[Jo Piper3]

Property anywhere in Sydney is hard to find and then the rental price is ridiculous.

My son is renting a one bedroom unit in Ryde for $700 a week

I grew up in Putney which is close to Ryde, your son' s rent is so expensive, no wonder young people can't buy property. Thanks Jo

 

[SirExton]

Tell him to grow a set and go sharing accommodation with his own age group and learn life skills! Because he will not grow a pair, living in the protected environment with you! And the world keeps revolving as it should! God Bless U all. Amen! & Amen! Try this web site; https://www.realestate.com.au/share Regards Phil

 

[Gsr]

Our children have moved out of our home now, we still have our 18 year old grandson living between our house and his girlfriend’s parents house. Our son moved back with us for 4 months after his relationship broke up and he had to sell his house and move to a new area to keep custody of his youngest child once she started school. our daughter didn’t move out until she was 33, married and bought their first home. Our son and his first partner lived with us for over 3 years, the last year with their baby. Our home has and always will be a place for any of our children or grandchildren to move into to live if ever the need arises, no matter what age they are, it is big enough to accommodate them all if needed. We do not intend to downsize ever if we get the choice.

 

[Suzanne rose]

I grew up in Putney which is close to Ryde, your son' s rent is so expensive, no wonder young people can't buy property. Thanks Jo

He is in Putney . My son is a builder and his partner is in management and runs a large duty free business so both are in goid money. Unfortunately that's the rent. Im guessing the rent is the same on the north shore . No wonder your son is going home

 

[Suzanne rose]

Tell him to grow a set and go sharing accommodation with his own age group and learn life skills! Because he will not grow a pair, living in the protected environment with you! And the world keeps revolving as it should! God Bless U all. Amen! & Amen! Try this web site; https://www.realestate.com.au/share Regards Phil

I'm thinking in this day n age it's not that simple. Firstly rent is High and for every rental there is over 200 people going for it.
This problem is Australia wide and its a problem we have never seen before.

Then only yesterday the Australian government brought in another 125.000 immigrants.

If parents can help their kids in need , then why not !!

 

[Marilynne]

Our children have moved out of our home now, we still have our 18 year old grandson living between our house and his girlfriend’s parents house. Our son moved back with us for 4 months after his relationship broke up and he had to sell his house and move to a new area to keep custody of his youngest child once she started school. our daughter didn’t move out until she was 33, married and bought their first home. Our son and his first partner lived with us for over 3 years, the last year with their baby. Our home has and always will be a place for any of our children or grandchildren to move into to live if ever the need arises, no matter what age they are, it is big enough to accommodate them all if needed. We do not intend to downsize ever if we get the choice.

These are the things the "Boomer Bashes" don't see and don't know about.

 

[CarolynRae]

Our boys have all left home and are married, however, they've always been welcome when they've needed to come home to the nest. In between houses, they have needed somewhere to stay, family and all. It's a special privilege knowing that our kids always feel welcome back in the family home. "Mum and Dad can't sell their house. That will always be our home." That's true love.

 

[Michelle Sc]

I would go as far as helping him to find somethinga bit of prompting is required, it is too cosy. Our daughter moved back in with her boyfriend and stayed one year until they had saved enough for a deposit and there was no problem. I know a lot of "kids" that moved back with their parents for economic reasons, but usually 1 to 2 years is the norm.

 

[Jest]

who is the parent? you or your kid.?

 

[Jest]

Tell him to grow a set and go sharing accommodation with his own age group and learn life skills! Because he will not grow a pair, living in the protected environment with you! And the world keeps revolving as it should! God Bless U all. Amen! & Amen! Try this web site; https://www.realestate.com.au/share Regards Phil

you are so correct. My feeling is that the parents have made a rod for their own backs. SO, they need to suck it up and stop trying to be so magnanimous. what is so different from the 60's to now?

 

[Suzanne rose]

you are so correct. My feeling is that the parents have made a rod for their own backs. SO, they need to suck it up and stop trying to be so magnanimous. what is so different from the 60's to now?

Really !!!!! For one the population has grown.

Secondly There is not enough houses / units for the population compared to the 60s

Thirdly the cost of living was no where like it is today.
I was only saying to my husband the other day how I would hate to be young trying to either rent a place or buy. I give thanks that we own our house because I don't know how anyone can manage with the overall cost of living in today's times

If a parent has a spare room to welcome their child home then why not. If this will help them get on their feet then what a small but wonderful thing to do.

Remember it might just be that child who looks after you when you need it

 

[Jest]

Really !!!!! For one the population has grown.

Secondly There is not enough houses / units for the population compared to the 60s

Thirdly the cost of living was no where like it is today.
I was only saying to my husband the other day how I would hate to be young trying to either rent a place or buy. I give thanks that we own our house because I don't know how anyone can manage with the overall cost of living in today's times

If a parent has a spare room to welcome their child home then why not. If this will help them get on their feet then what a small but wonderful thing to do.

Remember it might just be that child who looks after you when you need it

thank you for your wisdom.

 

[Suzanne rose]

thank you for your wisdom.

You are welcome

 

[Brody]

No you are far from unreasonable, the thing is home is a place where your every need is met, it's cheap, hot meals, washing done, good for a loan if you are running short, ironing done ( not by you)
This is as good as it gets short of Heaven, why would anybody want to leave ?
Good luck in getting Him to move without a push. Ah life's good !!!
If he does move out can I move in. ?