[Athena E.]

AIBU 02.09.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Full_Bridge3815:

Am I unreasonable for denying help to a woman I know?

'I am part of a nonprofit charity organisation that helps people to fix their homes. As I own a construction company, the main part I provide is leftovers from building sites, but we also have multiple other members who contribute their time, money or resources.'

'Our main focus is people who need better living standards, like hot water, and a bathroom with running water, or just heating as things like that can be too expensive for single parents, disabled people or seniors. Often we help families whose home was damaged in an accident (fire, flood, etc.) and they lack resources to fix it. (Insurance companies often don't cover old buildings in bad shape, but people in need often live in buildings like that).'

'Recently, we got an email about a fire in an apartment building. The name of the person in need caught my attention—it was Ruby, my ex’s best friend. I contacted Ruby and found out that a robot vacuum had exploded in her apartment, causing a fire that left the place needing a total rebuild. Unfortunately, she had no insurance, while other affected neighbours did.'

'At first, it seemed like she was a good candidate for our help, but I know Ruby owns another apartment she inherited and rents out. I asked her about it, and she said she didn’t want to lose her passive income by selling it or moving there. So, I told her we help people who have no other options, not those with passive income that could solve their problems.'

'Our charity members can veto projects when it’s justified, and I felt Ruby wasn’t the kind of person we’re here to help. Members rarely question the reasons, as the list of people that need help is long. That's when things blew up. '

'My ex accused me of denying help because of our past, and now my mailbox is full of messages calling me an names and saying, "You're playing god." Is it wrong to deny charity to someone who could sell another property or use rental income to solve their problems? Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[dippy]

No. She could have a afforded insurance.

 

[19casper56%]

She has the means to organise repairs. Because she doesn't want too, is her problem. She's not in need of charitable help

 

[Jo Piper3]

She did have another property, why not organise to relocate. This would inconvenience the renter of her property but why seek the help of a charitable institution? Not an unreasonable decision.

 

[Zuki]

No, there are more deserving people whose need should take precedence over people in her position. advise her next time to use an ikd fashioned broom. They do not explode and you getbsome exercise using them!

 

[Bill MacL]

Reply to your EX, this is why you are my EX.

 

[Zuki]

Reply to your EX, this is why you are my EX.

Goid one!

 

[pamelafaye22]

Not unreasonable at all. She was the unreasonable one expecting charity and help when she had very reasonable alternative options. Tell the ex to take a funny run as my daughter would say.

 

[Noon]

No you're not being unreasonable, she could have moved into her own apartment or she should have had Insurance.

 

[MIZMAC]

Not unreasonable at all. Many others needing genuine help. Tell your ex to butt out.

 

[janj]

Not Unreasonable at all

 

[DiBoz]

People like her grate my gears. She is not desperate for help. Just move on and ignore both her and your ex. I hope your charity continues to help those in genuine need.

 

[natalielocket]

Definitely not unreasonable.

 

[Dennis]

She forgot the most important thing....Insurance.

Dennis R's. Afternoon Joke. My Hawaiian home owners association passed a noise ordinance so strict that I can't even laugh out loud. All I can do is a low ha.

Most clocks now days have auto-update when daylight saving begins or ends. So this morning I'm walking around my house thinking "Wow, times have changed.

 

[Bullwinkle]

Not in the slightest…
She has another rental property…which she rents out…income….get insurance
There are people out there in dire need..

 

[Hollingworthlake]

No I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Your girl friend is asking you to do something that she should know is outside your rules. If her friend could afford another apartment then the least she should do is insure it

 

[Dreams]

No I don’t think you are unreasonable.
Why didn’t she have insurance ? She. Is obviously comfortably off to own a second property.
There are people in this country who cannot afford and are very much in need of help!!!

 

[MariaG]

There is no way she could not afford insurance if receiving income from another apartment.
My feeling it may have been a case of ït won't happen to me". She most likely cruised along happily reaping the rewards from the rental property, then, when it kicked her in the butt, she remembered the mate.
Now I wonder if she has landlord's insurance for the rental. Hmmm.
For me, this one comes under the heading SOME PEOPLE HAVE A HIDE!!!

 

[Veggiepatch]

Another American generated article?

I believe in gender equality. She needs a good headbutt. Courtesy of the charity worker - the ex for good reason!

 

[novezar]

Begs the "?". Does Ruby have any sort of insurance on the unit she rents out? More than likely not, especially if she hasn't on the one she lives in. What you'd call 'Doing It On The Cheap". A lot less expenses. Ha Ha Ha.