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A retiree's last trip to Woolworths!!
Yesterday I was at Woolworths buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, (the Wonder Dog) . . . .
I was in the check-out line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog . . . . !!
(What did she think I had . . . . an elephant . . . .??)
So because I'm retired and have little to do . . . . (on impulse) I told her that no, I didn't have a dog . . . . that,
I was starting the Purina Diet again . . . . I added that I probably shouldn't, because the last time I tried it I ended
up in the hospital . . . . but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms . . . . !!
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is, that you load your pants pockets with the
Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry . . . . !!
The food is nutritionally complete,(certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again . . . . (I have to mention
here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me . . . . ??
I told her "NO" . . . . it was because I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me . . . . !!
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard . . . . !!
Woolworths won't let me shop there anymore . . . . !!
WARNING - watch what you ask retired people . . . .
They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say .
