[mOiOz]

A POLISH MAN IN AUSTRALIA​

Tuviah, a Polish man, moved to Australia and married an Australian girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him:

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions.
Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"
Tuviah: "Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home."

Lawyer: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Tuviah: "It is made of concrete."

Lawyer: "I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
Tuviah: "No, we have a carport, and do not need one."

Lawyer: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
Tuviah: "All my relations are still in Poland."

Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
Tuviah: "We have a hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player."

Lawyer: "Does your wife beat you up?"
Tuviah: "No, I am always up before her."

Lawyer: "Why do you want this divorce?"
Tuviah: "She is going to kill me."

Lawyer: "What makes you think that?"
Tuviah: "I got proof."
Lawyer: "What kind of proof?"

Tuviah: "She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle from the drugstore and put it on the shelf in the bathroom! I read it and it said: "Polish Remover”.

 

[Barbara V]

A POLISH MAN IN AUSTRALIA​

Tuviah, a Polish man, moved to Australia and married an Australian girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him:

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions.
Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"
Tuviah: "Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home."

Lawyer: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Tuviah: "It is made of concrete."

Lawyer: "I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
Tuviah: "No, we have a carport, and do not need one."

Lawyer: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
Tuviah: "All my relations are still in Poland."

Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
Tuviah: "We have a hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player."

Lawyer: "Does your wife beat you up?"
Tuviah: "No, I am always up before her."

Lawyer: "Why do you want this divorce?"
Tuviah: "She is going to kill me."

Lawyer: "What makes you think that?"
Tuviah: "I got proof."
Lawyer: "What kind of proof?"

Tuviah: "She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle from the drugstore and put it on the shelf in the bathroom! I read it and it said: "Polish Remover”.

That one I like !!!