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A Blonde's Year in Review
January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.... Helllloooo!!!.........bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March: Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said '2-4 years!'
April: Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May: Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June: Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August: Got locked out of my car in a rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September: The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it ?
October: Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December: Couldn't call 911 . 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!
BONUS.
Blonde says "Babe I'm stuck on this jigsaw, will you help little me, pretty please?"
Boyfriend asks what picture it is.
Blonde says it's a farmyard cockerel.
Boyfriend looks at the table, sighs and says, " Tracey, put the Cornflakes back in the box!!..
