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Logic A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation" she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't...

Let's Face it - English is a crazy Language There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings...

Common Sense An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red...

The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realised that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00am for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the...

Hypochondriac How does a hypochondriac eat his M&M's? One by one with a glass of water.

Good Deed After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital saved another patient from a suicide attempt by dragging him out of a full bathtub, the doctor reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr James, your records show your heroic behaviour and indicate that...

Questions that Haunt Me. If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do they use sterilized needles for a lethal injection? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light bulbs? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What...

Ooops! A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asked him what had happened. "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she, at a difficult hole, sliced her ball...

Who does what? A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, "You should do it because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee". He said, "You are in charge of the cooking so you should do it and I can wait...

Amazing. AMAZING!!!! This is one of the most awesome animations that I've received. I hope that it works for you. Just slide the bar left or right. WOW

Laws Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is...

Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words? 1. BOO_S 2. _ _NDOM 3. F_ _K 4. P_N_S 5. PU_S_ 6. S_X Scroll down Answers: 1. BOOKS 2. RANDOM 3. FORK 4. PANTS 5. PULSE 6. SIX You got all 6 wrong .... didn' t you?? You do NOT have an Alzhemier Problem, ... you have a Sex Problem

Couple of funnies... A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time… I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3...

The "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyCanberra" When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Special Labrador A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sits down in the aisle seat and puts his black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed on the plane? The...

No Needles! The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot. 'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects. "I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!" The...

Growing up in Australia..... I'm talking about hide and seek, playing in the park. The corner milk bar, hopscotch, billy carts, cricket in front of the garbage bin and inviting everyone on your street to join in, Skipping, handball, handstands, elastics, bullrush, catch & kiss, footy on the...

The Mayonnaise Jar When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class And had some items in front of him. When the class began...

Why I'm a Wine Drinker To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, Scientists have demonstratedthat if we drink...

Who Said Aussies weren't Romantic Of course I love ya darling You're a bloody top notch bird And when I say you're gorgeous I mean every single word So ya bum is on the big side I don't mind a bit of flab It means that when I'm ready There's somethin there to grab So your belly isn't...