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Memories of Australia-------gone forever

When it's Okay to Use That F Word Days like these you don't want.

One liners My wife wants me to wear a bracelet that belonged to her grandfather. It says, "Do Not Resuscitate." It's been months since I bought the book, How To Scam People Online. It still hasn't arrived yet. If you have a red wine stain on your carpet, get some white wine and drink it until...

Maths

Dog Training

Plastic Surgeon

Sunscreen

HOME SCHOOLED Most of the generation of 60+ years were home schooled in many ways. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the...

Squirrel Problem There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church, and a synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do...

BEAUTIFUL WORDS Someone has written these beautiful words. Must read and try to understand the deep meaning of it. They are like the Ten Commandments to follow in life all the time. 1. Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, But it is a "steering wheel" that directs...

MURPHY’S LAWS OF COMBAT OPERATIONS You are not superman Keep it simple stupid. Automatic weapons – aren’t. Recoilless weapons – aren’t. Suppressive fire – won’t. Incoming fire has right of way. If the enemy is in range, so are you. Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire. If it’s stupid...

HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE GROWING OLD You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones. You stop looking forward to your next birthday. You walk with your head held high, trying to get used to your bifocals. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against...

REPORTS TO INSURANCE The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car driver's attempt to summarise the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining. Coming...

ONE LINERS A penny saved is obviously the result of a government oversight. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid...

The Conversation Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the Brisbane Airport Terminal. The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Queensland. After a...

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again...

To Err is Human Many a manager is .....

Free to Good Home - Siberian Husky We live in Ipswich QLD and are unable to give this 5 year old the attention he needs e.g. daily walks and play. He is extremely active and strong for such a small dog (26kg) and he needs a yard with 6 foot fencing all the way round. He also needs to be on a...

Finding Tradies My husband has been ill of late even to the point of spending a couple of weeks in the hospital. Due to this he has been unable to do some of the basic chores around the yard, and although I used to do them we no longer have the easy start/hill climbing lawn mower any more. To...

Is wokeism going too far - have we lost our larakin attitude I recently put together a magazine for an Ex-Service Organisation (ESO) and thru in a couple of fillers. Fillers are what you put between the informative articles and are normally a joke or cartoon that has been sourced from...