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Hey Mr Trampoline Man

This is Whats Wrong with Woke

GPS

Leather

Strolling Through the Fields On a walk through the fields yesterday with my pal, when this fella came whizzing past us on a tractor shouting, "The end is nigh, The end is nigh.” My pal says, “there goes Farmer Geddon”

Lucky or What

Bragging Rights 3 lads are bragging at school….. 1st boy says, "My Dad's the fastest man in the world." "How do you know that?" the others ask "Because he can fire an arrow and from his bow and run and catch it!" he replies. "That's nothing," says the 2nd boy. "My Dad can fire a gun and run...

Sound

Thank You Lord

The Jam

Woman on Computer Woman on computer, asks husband: “ I need a password, upper and lower case, number and symbol” Husband: “Upper case P, lower case e and n, number one, symbol dollar, you’ve got all you need there”. Wife types it in waits a few seconds and says: ‘You’re no good, it’s not long...

Too Late

My Golden Years The golden years have come to me I can not see, I can not pee I can not Chew, I can not screw My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks, My bodies drooping, got trouble pooping. So the golden years have come at last, The Golden Years can kiss my arse!

Random Tales Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!" ====================================================== Roses are...

Dreaded Knock - Knock Jokes Knock, knock! Who’s there? Yah! Yah who? Well, no thanks, I’m more of a Google person. Knock, knock. Who's there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us. Open up! Knock, knock. Who's there? Doris. Doris who? The Doris locked, why do you think I'm knocking...

CPR "I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “Does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” And we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person."

Joint Decision "My husband and I have reached the difficult decision That we do not want children. If anybody does, Please just send me your contact details And we can drop them off tomorrow."

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Van Profile

Learned How To Say "Hi" In Mandarin