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The Easter Bunny The Easter Bunny Gets Run Over Once upon a time, there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road. Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on. The man quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, lying...

Birthday A husband and wife are in line at the grocery store. The clerk asks if they have a preferred shopper’s card. “Yes,” says the wife, “but I left it at home.” The clerk says they could look it up by birthday. The woman gives her birthday, but they can’t find her card in the system...

Bum A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. “I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five dollar bill to a bum.” “You gave a bum five whole dollars? That’s a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about...

Bad, Good & Great News The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. “We know it’s late, sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the Mounties. “Tell me! Did you...

Goodbye Mother A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if...

What Happened All Night? Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something...

The Old Bible A collector of rare books ran into a friend who told him he had just thrown out an old Bible that he had found in a dusty old box. The collector’s friend mentioned that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed the Bible. “You don’t mean Gutenberg?” gasped the collector. “Yes, that...

THe Bet A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!” After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the...

A Little Help An elementary school teacher decides to poll the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment. “How many people were able to complete the assignment without parent’s help?” About 25% of the class raises their hands. “How many people were able to complete the...

Must Be Fate A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out. So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on...

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Scottish Bats

The Special Golf Ball Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. "Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. "Are you sure?", the friend...

Why Parents Go Grey The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a...

A Married Couple A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”...

Big Game Hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could...

The Old Irishman There, standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water. A passer-by stopped and asked him, “What are you doing?” “Fishing.” replied the old man. Feeling sorry for the old man, the...

A Very Drunk Elderly Lady A very drunk elderly lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, “Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.” The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy”...

Live A Lot After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, He said I was doing fairly well for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, ‘Do you think I'll live to be 80?' He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?' ‘Oh no,' I replied...

Confucius May Or May Not Have Said This Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion. Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man...