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Is It Because I'm Blond? A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde?" the...

A Bakery Owner A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt, and the location of the raisin bread, he has a...

At the boyfriend parents A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the...

Perfect Timing A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing You're just like Frank.” Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman… he's a guy who did everything right all the time Like my coming along when you...

Thank Heavens There was this world famous painter In the prime of her career, she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored...

Captured By Pirates There was an Englishman, Scots man and an Irishman swimming in the sea one day when suddenly they were captured by pirates. The captain said to them your getting locked up in dungeons for 50 years, but I'll give you something to go in with. So the Englishman says he wants...

The Young Mexican A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he snuck across the border. He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole...

Murphy The Painter An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses...

The Third Wish A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie appeared in a puff of smoke and said, “And what will your third wish be?” The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish, when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?” “You have had...

The Mysterious Smiles Three new corpses are delivered to the morgue one day, each with a smile on their face. The mortician examines each of them and says who they are and their cause of death. "First body, Frenchman, aged 60, died making love to his mistress, hence the smile on his face...

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An Ideal Present For a Keen Golfer A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day, the wife feeling bad about what happened, decided to buy her husband a gift. Since he was an avid golfer...

Mother Nature A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process...

The Divorce On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background...

The Librarian A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, slams a book down and screams at the librarian, “This is the worst book I've ever read! It has no plot and far too many characters!” The librarian looks up and calmly remarks, “So, you're the one who took our phone...

The Lunch Date I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our...

Funeral Procession An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery: A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse...

Trophy Wife Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his...

Blonde Quiz "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde carefully works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The Quizmaster asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “Eighteen!” Obviously...

Hi, Beautiful Lady A man walked up to the most beautiful woman in the supermarket and asked, “You know, I have lost my wife here in the supermarket?” “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The woman is intrigued and asks him, “Why?” The man replies, “Because every time I start talking to...