Search results

Seniors An elderly woman walked into the store to buy some cat food. She picked up three cans, but when she reached the cashier, she was stopped. "I'm sorry," the cashier said, "but we can’t sell this to you unless you prove you have a cat. Some seniors have been buying cat food for...

Seductive Wife With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, “Have you ever seen a twenty dollar note all crumpled up?” “No,” said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a...

Samurai skill Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai. "Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened...

Hunting rules Hunting A father takes his son hunting for the first time. 🦌 He tells him, “Stay here and be very quiet. I’ll be across the field.” 🤫 A few hours later, the dad hears a blood-curdling scream! 😱 He runs back, shouting, “WHAT HAPPENED?! I told you to stay QUIET!” The boy, trying...

Thirsty Arab An Arab was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find Hymie sitting at a card table with a bunch of ties laid out on it. The Arab asked "Please, I'm dying...

Here comes the bride Not to be inconvenienced . . . Miriam the bride goes down the aisle and reaches the altar. There, standing in front of her, as he should be, is Daniel her future husband. But you can imagine what a shock Miriam gets when she sees that Daniel is standing there with his golf...

Murder The judge says to Mr. Hockenkop a double-homicide defendant, "Mr. Hockenkop you're charged with doing away with your wife with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten good for nothing" The judge says, "You're also charged with doing away with your...

Liar A FAMILIAR PARABLE Once, many years ago, a nine year old boy named Yossi was playing in the yard behind the barn. While running around, he somehow managed to knock over the outhouse. �Yossi was upset and worried that he would get into trouble, so he ran into the woods and didn’t return...

Old age The very wise Rabbi Levine . . . Two elderly ladies, Miriam and Naomi, meet for the first time for many, many years and decide to catch up on things over a coffee and a bagel at Minky’s Kosher Snacks. "So, Miriam," says Naomi, "it’s been a long time. How have you been getting on?"...

Retired

Anti theft

Job application Hannah goes to The Minky Farm and asks Henry, the manager, if there are any vacancies available at the farm. Henry tells her that the only job available is for a part-time lemon picker. Hannah says the job would suit her well. After Henry has asked her some questions about her...

Wifey

True story I know the feeling!

Hell Where the devil dwells . . . Nicholas and Abe found themselves delivered together to Hell. One was Christian and the other Jewish. A little confused at their present situation, they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had...

Storm Idea Terrible storms going to hit Perth soon. My son is moving and has so much to get rid of. Sent him this motherly advice!

Here's a thought! Thoughts

Parrot David and Bernice are visiting Israel and are out for a stroll when they walk into a pet store and see a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to its right leg. David asks the store owner the significance of the strings. “This parrot can teach you to speak...

MADE IN CHINA Potential Future Domestic Problems With Chinese Trade - US Senator Roberts called his wife before leaving office, telling her that he was bringing two colleagues home after work. He asked her to put away all the "Made in China" stuff at home to avoid being accused of not...

Public health? Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse. Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt...