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Troubled Guests It was 3 AM at a fancy hotel, and the poor receptionist was just about to doze off… when suddenly, an elderly lady came running toward the front desk, totally panicked. “Please come quickly!” she cried. “I just saw a NAKED man outside my window!” 😳 The receptionist rushed up...

More of the Vagaries of the English Language

Therapist’s Advice

Old time english

Distorted Lyrics

Air Conditioning

Hits From The Fifties

Missing in Action Just wondering if anyone is / or has recently been in touch with @BeautifulMousey. I messaged several weeks ago but have not heard back. Just hoping she’s doing ok. Thanks

A Problem of Adulthood

With Age Comes Wisdom One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. “Bubba, where’d you get that truck?!” “Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied. “She gave it to you? I knew she was...

Poor Customer Service

Long Island Duck A woman walks into a butcher shop and says, I want a Long Island Duck for a very special dish I’m making. The butcher,(looking puzzled)says, I’m not sure what a Long Island duck looks like, I’ll show you what I have. He then puts three ducks on the counter. The woman picks up...

Wise Words 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗔𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗪𝗶𝗳𝗲: •Whenever you return a borrowed pie pan, make sure it's got a warm pie in it. •Make home a happy place for the children. Everybody returns to their happy place. •Always keep a small light on in the kitchen window at night. •It's a whole lot easier to...

Idiocracy

Ringer’s Downfall A woman goes into a bar in Winton and sees a ringer with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet she's ever seen. The woman asks the ringer if it's true what they say about men with big feet. The ringer grins and says, "Sure is, little lady! Why don't you come...

Todays Funny, No Joke! Sitting in a cubicle minding my own business and I overheard a doctor speaking to a patient in the next cubicle. The conversation as follows: Dr. Do you know where you are? Patient. Yeah, I’m on my back Dr. Can you tell me the month? Patient, no but it’s getting...

Punography

Which is Better? When I was a kid we didn't have Pokemon GO. If you wanted to wander around looking for things that weren't there, you had to drop acid like a normal person.

With Age Comes Wisdom AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED...

Boxing Fact Boxers rarely have sex the night before a fight, but most people don't know why. It's because they don't like each other.