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BAR Warning Adults Only! A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks if that stool was taken. I am currently working on some new material and I promise to spread the offensive content around.

Man at Chemist Almost forgot my disclaimer! Adults Only A young man walks into a Pharmacy and asks for some condoms. The Pharmacist asks if he would like a bag, to which he replied "No thank you she isn't that ugly. I apologise if I've repeated any jokes.

Short and Sweet Sorry whomever I offended was never my intention to do so. Some of my jokes can be out there and I hadn't even got close to my really really out there. I do wish that you could have come to me so I could have had the opportunity to apologise in person so to speak I'll be...

Kali best pack your bag 3) What has non alcoholic beer and going down on your sister have in common? They taste the same but you just know it ain't right.

What no takers? I haven't been here long enough to get thrown in the naughty corner. Unless I'm doing something wrong as the replies to some of my posts have been all over the place

Now how bad? Have 3 in mind and I have them numbered and it's the first person that sends me a number from 1 to 3 that gets the naughty corner

Bad Week Last week I got caught having sex with the bosses daughter, then it dawned on me that I was self-employed..

I had to do at least one What is the difference between Santa Claus and a Jewish person? Santa goes down the chimney.

Doc that ain't right What is the hardest part about being a paediatric surgeon? Keeping the scalpel steady whilst masturbating!

The Goats What do you call a Muslim with a herd of goats? A Pimp. I hope that I haven't offended anyone I try and vary the topics so I can offend everyone. No seriously please let me know if I have.

Sorry Blondes Did you hear about the blonde who thought love handles were her ears. ..

My Racehorse The other day I bought a race horse it's name is My Face, I know it's a strange name but I've decided to keep the name only because I want to hear all the rich snobs yelling out "Come on MY Face".

Male Parts In case no one had heard that I had my penis in the Guinness Book of Records well I did until the librarian told me to remove it...

Sheep You think that the price of lamb is expensive here. Over in New Zealand it's $50 per hr..

Last one for the day What do blonde's have in common with a screen door? The more you bang them the looser they get.

Memories Some of my fondest memories when I was younger was building sand castles with Grandpa it was until mum took the urn off me..

So I've been told A recent survey conducted found out that 70% of Muslim men had had sex in the shower. The other 30% just hadn't been to jail yet.

Sorry What do you call a Muslim that has a goat and a sheep? Bisexual.

Unlikely A Irishman walked out of the pub.

Smoking I think that the only chance that I'll get to have a smoking hot body is when I'm cremated