Search results

Trying to Get a Job in India... Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Manager said, '' Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.'' Mujibar said, '' I am ready. '' The manager said, '' Make a sentence using the words...

You Gotta Get an Elephant Two billionaire friends meet. After a casual conversation, one of them finally asks: So, how's your home life? The other answers: "Couldn't be better! I bought an elephant!" The other guy looks at him astonished: "An elephant? Have you gone mad?" The guy replies...

A Blonde at the Cinema I went to see a movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “ Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me...

Socrates' Triple Filter Test In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day, an acquaintance ran up to the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?" "Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me...

ODD ONE OUT !

Who is it ? A man from the city was reporting for a job at a residential home and knocked on the door. The owner wasn't home, but his pet parrot was. "Who is it?", the parrot said. "It's the man from the gas company here to fix your pipes." There was no answer, so he knocks again. "Who is...

The Mysterious Smiles Three new corpses are delivered to the morgue one day, each with a smile on their face. The mortician examines each of them and says who they are and their cause of death. " First body, Frenchman, aged 60, died making love to his mistress, hence the smile on his face...

Three Funerals and a Wedding.. A woman makes a new friend at the gym, a beautiful woman. A few months later, she gets a wedding invitation. Excited, she asks her friend if this is her first marriage. "Fourth, actually." Says the other woman . Her friend says, "Fourth ?? How.. how...

Haggling With the Dentist One day, a woman walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty dollars," the dentist says. "That's a ridiculous amount!" the woman says. "Isn't there a cheaper way ?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an...

Do We Know Each Other ? Two men are standing at the urinal, doing their business, when one starts to strike up a conversation. "Excuse me, sir, do you happen to be Jewish?" "Yes, indeed I am." "And do you happen to be from Krakow?" "Yes, how do you know?" "And you always went to the...

Vacation Plans Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther: "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation... only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I been takin' your advice 'bout where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii...

The Ex-Wife & the Bride Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever ! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to...

Daylight in Mount Magnet W.A.

Heavenly Ducks Three women die and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says: “We only have one rule here in heaven: do not step on the ducks!!” So they enter heaven, and there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their...

A Texan in London A Texan is in London for business, and decides he'd like to see the sights before he leaves, so jumps into a taxi and has them show him around. They drive past Big Ben, and the taxi driver notes it took 15 years to build. The Texan scoffs at this. "You Brits are so slow...

The Wheelbarrow Bet A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth...

The Embarrassing Talk A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on intercourse. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken about intercourse. So he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and...

Step On It Noah and Frank left a bar after a long night of drinking, jumped into Noah’s car and Noah started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. Frank screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face there!" Noah sped up...

The Human Lightbulb Two blondes are working at a warehouse. One blonde, tired of working, says to the other: “Watch this, I'm going to act crazy so that the boss will send me home.” She climbs up the racking and hangs from the rafters yelling “I’M A LIGHTBULB, I'M A LIGHTBULB, I'M A...

An Absent Minded Doctor A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear ? In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at...