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The Lord's Prayer The head sales representative from Arnott's biscuits was asked to talk to the Pope about changing the lords prayer, so he makes an appointment with the pope. He tells the pope that Arnott's biscuits will give 500 million dollars to the catholic church to change the lords...

Funny but true story. This might be funny for those looking on, but I am a little bit delusional about myself. I finished work yesterday afternoon early at about 2pm. I went home changed out of my work clothes and sat down and drank one nice cold beer whilst sending a text message. After...

An Eskimo & a Kiwi An Eskimo & a Kiwi were going for a drive in the country, when all of a sudden smoke started to come out from under the bonnet of the car. The Eskimo pulls the car over to the side of the road & they get out & start looking under the bonnet of the car. The Kiwi says to the...

Not wanting to turn this into a dating thread. Hi there to all, my name is Ian, I have been married & divorced once, then a FFB relationship for 10 years until I broke it off due to her not wanting to be serious and go further with it. Then a 2.5 year relationship with what I thought was the...

Telling a joke backwards. How do you tell a joke backwards? Start Laughing :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Joke. Why do Mormans stop having kids at 25? Because 26 kids is just too many :ROFLMAO:

Getting old I was telling a friend today that getting old sucks a fair bit, when I need to pee I sprinkle pepper on it & when it comes out to sneeze I grab it and have a pee. Then I remembered a joke on here the other day about the old fellow going to the doctors for Viagra, he asked the doctor...

Women & Dog Turds What have Women and Dog Turds got in common? As they get older they are easier to pick up. 🤣

Just a big thanks Hi Gentlemen & Ladies, I am not sure if this post should be here or somewhere else, but it is the jokes & fun section that I frequent the most so I prefer to post this here. I am sorry if I stuff this up a bit & the punctuation is not right, maybe my tears blurr my vision. I...

Joke What's the difference between an egg and a beetroot? You can beat an egg, but can't beat a root. :ROFLMAO:

I hate it when people call me boy. When people call me boy, I think that it's very downgrading no matter how old I am. I turn back to them & say - I have got a yard of cock, a bucket full of balls & enough hair on my arse to make a grizzly bear sweat, so don't ever call me boy!

Dad joke I used to tell my two daughters that I can't pull a rabbit out of my hat, but, I can pull a hair out of my arse.

What's the name of the Jolly Swagman? What's the name of the Jolly Swagman? It's in the song, just sing it. Andy 🤔

Focker friendship Two men were stranded at sea on their sailing boat after wild weather. They sent out a distress message- please help we are stranded at location xyz?! No answer, so they tried again and again, after a few times the French air force answered and said we will send a Focker...

Joke Three men were discussing how good they are when they made love to their wife. The American - I am that good at making love to my, that she levitates 30cm above the bed. The Frenchman- I am that good at making love to my wife, she levitates 1 metre above the bed. The Aussie - well thats...

A good establishment A couple towing a caravan were travelling along the highway coming into Charters Towers NQ, then about 20 Km out of town they saw a jackaroo chasing down a kangaroo & then having sex with it, they thought this is strange. Then about 10 km out of town they saw another...

Kiki and Eskimo Maybe my old timers is catching up to me, I can't remember if I have told this one here. A Kiwi & an Eskimo were driving along the highway, the car started to splutter & carry on & then stopped. The Eskimo pulled the bonnet & both of them were looking & the Kiwi said - I think...

Kiwi & Eskimo A Kiwi & Eskimo were driving along the highway when the car started to flutter & fart and then came to a stop. The Eskimo lifted the bonnet & both got out to look at the engine. The Kiwi was looking under the bonnet with intense & says I think that you have blown a seal. The...

Nature I have been told that in nature the weakest die off first. Also that alcohol kills brain cells. I figure that I must be pretty smart by now, because all the weaker brain cells have died off!🍻

Losing my hair. Patient: Doctor my hair is falling out, can you give me something to keep it in? Doctor: Ask at the reception they will give you a box.