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Toejam

You raise the blade You make the change You rearrange me 'til I'm sane

Here's an idea stop taking the little bastards with you when you go shopping? Oh, and I'm well aware that I probably carried on like kids today, the only difference was we weren't taken shopping

I think when I came here you had to be here for five years before go for citizenship, and when you think about it we were all refugees? fleeing the rubble and strife caused by the political class.

MIGHT BE AN IDEA TO TAKE A CHILL PILL, HELEN

The British government is great for banning junk food, but not so good at banning the boats? Also take into account that (although all politicos do it al be it not so blatantly as the Right Horrible FUB Starmer) their Prime Minister has openly lied to only the parliament but also the country on...

It doesn't matter that the safety cannot be guaranteed.

Came across this one in Hyde Park pisstones> "One would with all this wit that Shakespeare's ghost had been to shit" To which, someone had replied "I should think that would be true, for Shakespeare's ghost had an arsehole too"

You wouldn't believe the things i have in kitchens around the world? that's just one the reasons I carry mt own Mayo

Eeejit

Never mind a Hungry Jacks or a MacDonalds? there'll be a Mosque coming to your doorstep?

Years ago A sergeant who for want of better term used to be in charge of any issuance of fines and when they came to the top of the file would slip them back to the bottom and letting you know, when he saw you. He would do this a few times even telling you that at the time once a summons for had...

I've said it before, this countries politicians sent our able young men overseas to fight and die in the attempt to stop the spread of communism and we end up with a communist government for our troubles? YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING AND BE HAPPY!!

A friend told me he had an Oedipus Complex... I said, "Motherfucker, what's wrong with you?"

What's the difference between purple and pink? The grip.

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating." The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!" The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."

What’s the difference between a condom and a coffin? You cum in one and go in the other.

Anal sex is like getting a minivan. It hurts at first, but then you’re surprised at how much you can fit inside!

The Train A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves assigned to the same sleeper on a trans-continental train. Though inially embarassed and uneasy over sharing the sleeper. They were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, him in the upper bunk and her in the lower. At...