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And, of course, no mention of the dickheads who scratch the screen deliberately?

Getting the banks to let $153 million loose from their coffers sounds like the extreme example of applying the peeing in your own wetsuit syndrome.

"Different colour [and fabric]" ... then you wouldn't be buying anything like the original, would you? What would be the point in that exercise? If I bought a Ford instead of a Holden = same thing?

Who's going to see what you're wearing when you're asleep? The tooth fairy?

"Dupe" ... look the noun up in your Funk & Wagnalls.

Oh, well, there's one good thing to say about the copper theft ... being hit with 132,000 volts is sure to make you wake up to yourself in the nanosecond between the cut and the jolt.

Right on, bro!

Yair, well, with all the best intentions in the world of reducing the gigantic amount of soft plastic floating around and helping save the environment, there's not much hope of doing it unless the stoobidhead dumbshits out there wake up to themselves and simply use the scheme in the way it was...

Yes, even my feeble mind can understand that. Did I advocate that motorists should break the speed limits? I don't think so.

Hang on, first they should make sure that the prospective customers can actually READ and understand the instructions in the first place, which leads us straight back to my original point. That is, can they even comprehend the "See Spot run" way of getting through to their tiny little minds?

Ah, yes ... the good old alcohol tax -- one of the great rorts of the century and on a par with the fuel price increases. Simply write it into the legislation and, every six months or so, up it goes again without the politicians even needing to have a thought about it and just as regularly as an...

Amazing how many of these electronic things rely on "third party" sources, innit?

I'll tell you when was the last time I watched Seven. It was the day Apollo XI landed on the Moon, with, I suppose, nearly every working TV set in the world tuned in. All through the event, there was a message on the bottom of the screen informing us that the broadcast was "EXCLUSIVE TO CHANNEL...

Might it be because the manufacturer realises that there is such a class of people out there who just might venture into the shower, hairdryer in hand, wanting to dry their locks as soon as the water stops dripping? Or is it because it's happened before and they just want to stop the practice?

It's probably also the reason that you'll find these words in the owner's manual for a hairdryer: DO NOT USE IN THE SHOWER.

Thank you. I thought so at the time.

I'm not amazed at all (and this is just a generalisation, it can't be anything but). I think the average IQ is sinking, overall. I put it down to the insidious influence that social media has on young minds, the lowering standards in education, peer pressure from friends, the continual examples...

And all the heavier bits sink to the bottom? Another first-world problem!

... and some people can't work out why, when ingredients are put in a bottle, the heavier ones will possibly, even probably, sink to the bottom. The bottle might even require shaking to mix it all together again!

Carefully chosen witnesses? He could say the same thing about me if he asked me if I saw Captain Cook land, too.