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My kids had never seen one of these and asked if they could have a go on it. I said no, it's dangerous. We were travelling from the country and stopped at a park on another occasion and my daughter asked if she could go on the dangerous. True story.

I Won An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely naked.” With that, she stripped off, rolled the dice...

A bookie had had a winning day at Randwick. A man with a speech impediment came along and said I hhhad mmy 5ttt. The bookie said Nick off I didn't offer 5 to 1 on any race. The other man persisted and continued, my 5ttt. The bookie got annoyed and since he had a great day says to the man...

Very Clever.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through the seat belt if she gets trapped in an accident. She keeps it in the boot. They walk among us!

I stopped giving blood. Too many questions, where did you get this blood, who's is it, why is it in a bucket!

Sarah Hanson-Young and her chauffeur were cruising along a country road one evening just on dusk, an elderly cow staggered onto the road in front of the Limo, the driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t, resulting in the old cow being struck and killed. Sarah told the driver to go to the nearby...

Granddad Joke of the day Drinking Pals. Dave and Pete were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft Engineers in Canberra, Australia . One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!” Pete...