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My ute is canary yellow, looks like a bloody checkers board?.

If we had a death at sea, we would put the body bag in the freezer til we got to the next port? When it happened the meat rate went down?.

A Blond Changes Hair Color There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "Tell you what. I have a...

Sounds a bit suss amusing yourself?

Still going to fly into the same bloody mountain or fall out of the sky?

I flatly refuse to buy any clothing thats got it's plastered all over it I don't pay for your adverts

In the ten years I sent travelling in the South East Asia this was the most corrupt?

Thats the problem with Labour government, always running out of your money? I always check with my accountant?

Strange I thought it was. A white sport coat and a pink carnation I'm all dressed up for the dance A white sport coat and a pink carnation I'm all alone in romance…

Dilution

Three Paralympian Swimmers Three Paralympian Swimmers Go Head-to-Head Three swimmers are on the starting blocks at the Paralympic games. The first one has no arms, the second one has no legs, and the third one is just a head standing on the block. The race starts, the first two swimmers...

Test Pilot Test Pilot Test Pilot An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, Are you a real pilot? He replied...

The Captain A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week’s shore leave. The first evening, the ship’s Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner: “Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter’s Debutante Ball. I would like you to...

Were the fittings gold?

Laid and Nailed?

Didn't work been doing it for more than I care to remember.

Unfortunately I have

I don't suppose you can use the saying any longer about when some things cockeyed the expresssion being a niger in the woodpile. Which reminds of the doctor telling this bloke that his wife had given birth to a 3.5 kilo baby unfortunately the baby was born with no eyelids? The father "cried...

I had used to use the interest free, but always made sure that I had the money to pay for it, Ijust used it for convenience in using someone else's money. It was okay when te monthly fees were just a couple of dollars but since the Chinese Flu the price of everything went up and bastard stayed...