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Two blokes drinking in the pub. Two blokes drinking in the pub, discussing their matrimonial situations. One says, "My missus is a real angel." The other bloke, staring forlornly into his beer, sighs and says, "You're bloody lucky mate. Mine's still around."

Duck Hunting A priest and his friend went duck hunting one morning. They sat in the blind by the lake and waited, and soon a flock of five ducks flew overhead. The priest's friend aimed his shotgun and blasted off both barrels only to see the five ducks continue on unscathed. "Goddamn it...

Bloke goes to the Doctor... Bloke goes to the Doctor and is told by the Doc that he has only six months to live. He decides to make the most of his remaining six months, so he parties .. Drinks heaps of alcohol, smokes some 'funny weed', carouses with any woman that will have him. Six months...