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What to do with a penguin A bloke comes into a service station for fuel. The attendant notices that he has a penguin in his car. The attendant says to him, "What's with the penguin in your car?" The bloke replies, "Oh, I found it wandering on the road a few kilometres back" The attendant says...

Buying the Paintings An artist asked a gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your...

Drinking Problem A bloke comes into a pub, goes to the bar and says to the barman, "Give us a pint, thanks, mate." So the barman gives him a pint of beer. The bloke skols half the glass and suddenly throws the other half into the barman's face. The barman stands there looking shocked as beer...

Pre-natal classes (with husband) The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make...