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Phone A Friend! Husband: ''I met your friend at the supermarket. she was showing me pictures of her new baby, on her phone.'' Wife: '' Oh, lovely; what did she have?'' Husband: ''I think it was the new Apple Iphone 14!!!''

The Older I Get! The older I get, the more I have in common with computers. We both start off with plenty of drive and memory. Then we become outdated, crash unexpectedly and eventually have our parts replaced.

Sorely Missed! To the irritation of the judge, a man was trying to be excused from jury duty. "Tell me," began the judge, "is there any good reason why you cannot serve as a juror in the trial?" The man replied, "I don't want to be away from my job that long." "Can't they do without you at...

Black Friday Shopping! A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor...

Walk Like An Egyptian!!

Waiting!

Unfaithful. A man is in his final moments of life and asks his wife of fifty years. ‘’Martha, soon I’ll be gone and there’s something I must know, in all the fifty years of marriage have you ever been unfaithful to me? Martha replied, ‘’Well, Henry, I must be honest with you, yes, I’ve been...

''Do You Know Who I Am?'' A policeman pulls over a young rich kid driving a Porche. Policeman. ''Please sir, would you get out of the car?'' Rich Kid. ''You'll regret this, do you know who my father is?'' Policeman. ''Why, didn't your mother tell you?''

Life

Just Imagine!!!

Thumbs Up! A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's license in silence for a moment, he said, "You know something? This is one of the finest, most realistic pictures I've ever seen. I'm glad to see you aren't one of those vain women who have...

Personality Assessment. We recently done a personality assessment at work and one of my work mates asked me if I would share the results with my wife. That would require me to go home and say to my wife and say, ‘’Hi Honey, I just paid someone $400 to tell me what’s wrong with me.’’ ‘’What’s...

It Ain't Me! It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on. All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odour passing through the...

10 Disgusting Facts About Fast Food

Punctuation is Powerful. An English professor wrote these words. "A woman without her man is nothing" On the chalkboard and asked to punctuate correctly. All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing" All of the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her...

Phew!!!!

It's The Thought! My wife just opened the door for me. It would have been a nice gesture if we hadn’t been going 70 kilometres per hour at the time

Flatterer! I was at the hardware store to get a duplicate of my car key made when the store clerk said, “You’re a model?” It was exactly what a woman in her mid-30’s wanted to hear. “Well, no, I’m not,” I said, blushing. “But, I’m flattered that...“ He stopped me right there, pointed to my...

If Drinking, take a Bus! A warning to all you, be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers and then went...

Country Driving. An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway police. “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”...