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Air Apparent! The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires... She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!" I responded, "Inflation."

The Ex Factor! Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks: "Tim, I've been thinking, now that we're married...

The Gift!

It's A Lay Day! A golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset and sought out the farmer. “I’m sorry,” he said, “my terrible tee shot hit one of your hens and killed it. Can I replace the hen?” “I don’t know about...

Deflation!

How AI Was Born!!!

Sexy Monkey (Adult Content)

Completely Finished Is it "complete", "finished", or "completely finished"? No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words - "Complete" or "Finished". In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in...

Inflation! A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and, as he passed her pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but would never take a pretzel. This went on for more than five years. The...

Olaf

A Plethora Of One Liners!

My Dog! My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is...

Teasers! I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire. I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight. Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing are called pinion feathers. A...

Supersex! " Paddy, you have been an inmate of the Happy Valley retirement home for quite a few years, and today is your 90th birthday..........." " As a special birthday gift, around 7pm tonight a sexy young nurse will enter your room and dance naked before you, then have supersex with...

Pre Tarriffs! The former President is disembarking his private plane, carrying his tiny dog. One of his Secret Service men says, "Nice dog, sir." The President says, "Thanks, I got it for the former First Lady." The Secret Service man replies, "Nice trade, sir."

Tunnel Vision!

Teflon Stamp!

Overdue ; Adult Content A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. "Darling, I have great news - I'm a month overdue. I think were going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next...

Signs Of Middle Age

Blasphemy Of The Magi! The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. ‘Jesus Christ!’ he exclaimed. Joseph said, ‘Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!’