Search results

Wrong Division! Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her math classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each...

Twins! A woman was rushed into the hospital in an ambulance as she was just about to give birth to twins. She wasn't able to reach her husband, so she left message with her brother, who was going to meet her at the hospital. At the hospital the lady was in such pain that she had to be...

''Who's Geoff?'' Wife: ''I have heard that a man gets deaf if he has ''Viagra'' often''. Husband: ''Who the hell is Geoff, and what is he doing at Niagara?''

Some People!

Moped vs Ferrari An elderly man, looking about 100 years old, and on a Moped, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, 'What kind of car ya got there, sonny?' The doctor replies, 'A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million quid' 'That's a...

A Few One Liners!

Prison Princess Barbie

A Perfect Marriage

Shoo Fly! An old farmer got pulled over by a young state trooper for speeding. The trooper, fresh on the job, decided to throw his weight around and started lecturing the farmer about his speed. He did his best to make the farmer feel uncomfortable but eventually got around to writing the...

Earsy Pearsy! After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery room with my wife. It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, "I've got the head now; just a few more minutes." "Is it a girl or boy?" I asked excitedly. The doctor...

Gender Reveal

The Alcoholic Connoisseur At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink. The drunk tried...

Art Heist!

Want To Feel Old?

Stone The Crows!!! The arithmetic teacher proposed the following to the class, "If there are three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?" After a short time, Little Johnny shouts out, "Two left." The teachers response, "I'm afraid you don't get the point. Let me repeat the...

Critique!

Nailed It! Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box...

Exennials

In All Probability! If you can sit quietly after difficult news; if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm; if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy; if you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate; if you can fall asleep after a day...

Burial At Sea