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''Thank God'' A man needed a horse, so he went to a church and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, ''Thank God'', and for it to stop you say, "Amen". So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his...

Toupee or Not Toupee A man was going bald and told his friends he was going to get a rabbit tattooed on his head as it was a lot cheaper than an implant or a toupée. His friends asked how getting a...

Huntin'& Fishin! An 80-year-old Saskatchewan farmer goes to the clinic in Saskatoon for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?' 'I'm from Sask and in my spare time I like to hunt and fish' says the old...

Truisms

INTERESTING OBSERVATION INTERESTING OBSERVATION 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4. The sport of choice for...

Mrs Ravioli Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder...

Looks Like We're In For A Bad Spell!

''Hey, Hey, It's The Monkees''! My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with ''The Monkees'', I thought she was joking, "And then I saw her face"

Kevin Sent! A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other...

ONLY A BANKER WOULD THINK LIKE THIS The CEO of Euro Exim Bank Ltd, Kaushik Punjani made economists think when he said: ′′A cyclist is a disaster for the country's economy: he doesn't buy cars and doesn't borrow money to buy them. He doesn't pay for insurance. He doesn't buy fuel. He doesn't...

Double Dip A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?' God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.' Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay...

Soy Anara!

Left The Toy! I went to ''McDonalds'' today and ate a kids meal. It was really good but his mum was furious!

Trumped!

Starry Starry Night! I saw Vincent Van Gogh in the pub the other night. I said "Oi Vinny d`you want a drink", he said "No thanks I`ve got one ear".

A Good Reason! The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

Diaries! Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing...

The Irish Flagpole Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, But we don't have a ladder..' The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her...

Slurp! Slurp!

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