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26 Shorties!

Arrival!

Just A Small Wish! A genie granted me one wish, so I said, "I just want to be happy." Now I'm living in a cottage with six dwarfs and working in a mine.

Honesty Is The Best policy

Darling!

The Survey! A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?" She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.' 'And if you...

Hop In! "Mick, I saw a man last night on the road who was obviously trying to catch a ride.... "He only had one eye, no arms and only one leg " "So what did you do Paddy......."????? "Well Mick, you always have to be cautious about picking up hitchhikers, but I pulled up alongside him ..." Hi...

Trocadero His wife returned from the morning shopping expedition and called her husband into the room from the garden. "Frederick," she said heavily, "When you came home last night you told me you had been to the Grand Hotel with Mr. Wilson. I just met Mrs. Wilson, and she said you were both...

''Endeavour'' A high school student stared thoughtfully at the second question on his exam, which read, “State the number of tons of coal shipped out of Australia in any given year.” Suddenly, his brow cleared, and he wrote, “1770: None.”

Peek-a-boo The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (Pronounced Peekaboo) is not just an athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion...

EBay Got home from work today to find that my kids have been on ebay all day. If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the price.

Too Tired To Think! 8am: Too tired to think. Noon: Too tired to think. 5pm: Too tired to think. Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?

Pistol Packin! Teacher : Can anyone give me a sentence with the word “pistol” in it ? Sophie : “ My daddy is a soldier, he has a suit , he has a sword, a bayonet and he has a pistol too” Teacher : “ Very good Sophie. “ Johnny : “ Miss, my father isn’t a soldier, he doesn’t have a suit of blue...

Poser Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her math classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"...

Easy Peasy! A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees and the next day he brings three beautiful women into the...

Heating Up! When I was in school, I used to ask a lot of questions. One day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters 'H' like in hour, honest, honor, etc?" Ms. Doris replied, "We are not ignoring them. They are considered silent." During the lunch break, Ms. Doris...

Fervid Fan! Man: I can't sleep at night, I keep seeing donkeys playing football. Doctor: I am going to give you some medicine, start using it tonight. Man: Can I start tomorrow? Doctor: Why tomorrow? Man: Tonight is the finals.

Movie Night (Adult Content)

''What A Wonderful World''

Visiting Grandma Grandma, who was becoming an evermore intimidating personality as the years went on, was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the...