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The Driving Test! After twelve attempts, my wife finally passed her driving test. I asked her what I could get for her as a celebration gift. ''Just something cheap to run around in.'' She said. So I bought her a pair of trainers from K mart!

Deck The Halls!!!! "Mick I took my nephew to Bunnings Hardware store the other day because he wanted to buy a new electric drill...... He is not the brightest individual you know, so I like to help him out whenever I can......."" "Two minutes later he appeared at the front door escorted by 2...

Tailor Made! Tom had suffered terrible headaches for over twenty years since his early teens. He had no social life and no friends as a result. He had been to numerous doctors who referred him to endless specialists, and none could determine the cause of his debilitating headaches. Until one...

The Irish 911 Call

2024 DARWIN AWARDS

An I For An I! Someone once asked me what's the ninth letter of the alphabet. It was a complete guess, but I was right!

Looking At The Future! My wife left me for another man. All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out. And while he's going through all that, I''ll be in the pub with my mates every night!

Double Booking! The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side. She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?" He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

Budget Announcement! It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few local businesses as a result of Rachel Reeves' recent budget announcement. A local bra manufacturer has gone bust, a submarine company has gone under, a manufacturer of food blenders has gone into...

Just A Drop!

Repeat After Me.

Thinking! A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our...

Just Like Riding A Bike A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle when he came upon little Johnny trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher. "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said little Johnny. After...

Compatability! A married couple were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. We have a great relationship," the husband explained. My wife studied inter-personal relationships in college and I got a degree in theatre...

Broken! The first time my son was on a bike with training wheels, I shouted, "Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!" He nodded but still rode straight into a bush. "Why didn’t you push back on the pedals?" I asked, helping him up. "You said if I did, the bike would break."

Elvis Is Back! Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the...

Gorilla Removers. (Adult Content) A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives, and...

Scooby Doobie Doobies! A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Rustom about enlarging her breasts. Dr Rustom advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!' She did this faithfully for several months! To her utter amazement she...

A Blonde's Year in Review January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.... Helllloooo!!!.........bottles won't fit in printer !!! March: Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said...

Morning Sex! (Adult Content)