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One day on the Golf Course..... Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to...

Mood Ring My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a...

Questions You Just Can't Answer...... Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does...

Dedicated Wife DEDICATED WIFE Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation. The first guy says, 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... "Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist." The second guy says, 'I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you...

When Insults had Class. These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." A member of...

Letter of Recommendation. LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and...

Mood Ring My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his #*!@# forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy...

Woman Goes to a Fishing Store to buy a Rod and Reel for her Grandson. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter. The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says...

Landmarks 3 men are drinking at a pub at The Rocks in Sydney. One is an Egyptian, one is a Frenchman and the other is an Aussie. The Egyptian brags to the others, "Do you know it took only 100 years for the Egyptians to build the Great Pyramid?" The Frenchman comes back with "Did you know that...

The Monk A young monk entered a new monastery and was given a tour and instructions by the abbot. He was shown his room and told he could only say two words after ten years. Ten years later he stood before the abbot to say his two words. They were "bed hard". Ten years later he again stood...

New type of Wine A new type of wine is now being produced for those who enjoy their daily glass or to but have weak bladders. It's called Pinot More......

Plane Conversation An atheist was sat next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger...