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Black or White? A Blonde woman is walking two dogs, one White and the other Black. An Old lady walking down the same street notices them and since it’s a breed she’s never seen before, she’s curious and walks up to the woman. “Wow, these dogs are adorable. What kind are they?”. The Blonde...

Nice Brick A fool is walking down the street, dragging a brick on a leash behind him. A cop sees him and says to himself: “I’ll make fun of him.” He walks up to him and says: “Gee, you’ve got a nice dog!” The fool replies, “Are you crazy? That’s a brick!” The angry cop walks away. The...

Cat on the Roof A man left his cat with his brother while he went on holiday for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died.” The man was very upset and yelled...

Maths Teacher A young boy says to his father “Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you.” “What happened?” The father asks. “Well, she asked me, ‘how much is 7 * 9?’ I answered ’63’ , then she asked, ‘and 9 * 7?’ So I asked ‘what’s the fucking difference?’ “Indeed, what is the...

The Love Dress A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked “What are you doing?” she asked.“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the...

Mother-In-Law The Dean from the University of Melbourne was a victim of a hit and run. He was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. “My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!” the shaken Dean told the cop. “The car hit you from behind,” the officer said. “How could...

Glass of Water The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.” The Doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your...

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.” Five minutes later the baby was still not...

Detergent A little boy was at the supermarket checkout with a huge box of detergent. The checkout girl, trying to be friendly, asked him he had a lot of laundry to do. “Not laundry,” the boy said. “I’m going to wash my kitten.” “You shouldn’t use this to wash your kitten. It is very powerful...

Quiet Flight As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats...

Interrogation A drunk driver is being interrogated. Detective: okay buddy, walk me through the whole thing, from the top. Driver: I don’t know, it all happened so fast, I need a drink of water. Detective: Your water is on its way. But first, tell me if this was premeditated. Driver: NO...

A Very Urgent Call A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a...

A Man Wrote A Book. – A certain man wrote a book entitled, “HOW TO CHANGE YOUR WIFE IN 30 DAYS,” and it sold more than 30 million copies within a week. Later on,it was discovered that there was a writing error with the title. It was supposed to be, “HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS.”...

Ridge

Doesn't need a cmb to part her hair?

Everythubgs been on an alarming rise since the CCP.'s Chinese Flu?

Lets see if we can get a payout? These used to be a saying that a bloke only remembers his first and his last?.

Go Fund Me? Springs to mind.

Going through immigration to the US back in sixties, They used to ask you if you were a communist. "No" Have you ever been a communist. "No" Any insanity in the family. "Yes my sister married a Yank"