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Sick dog A man walked into the vet surgery carrying his dog. What seems to be the problem? the vet said, taking the dog from him. He has a sore ear, ok, let me have a look gosh, I'll have to him down. Why? said dogs owner, just because he has a sore ear?? No said the vet, because he's bloody...

Ducks!! Two ducks crossing the road, one duck said quack quack, the other duck said, shut up I'm going as quack as i can.

If they fall forward they're still in the boat

I noticed a typo, a slip of the finger when i typed "but" also, i used the incorrect spelling of "there". If that's all that's, stopping you from being able to read my thread then, maybe it's your reading ability.

It's a joke, not some sort of racist rant. I'm Australian and just as amused by Aus jokes. My friend is blonde and loves blonde jokes. We don't repeat them to be offensive

Skin Divers Why do skin divers fall backwards into the water?

Another Irish Joke Two Irish men on a flight, as they were getting close to their destination, the pilot announced that their be a delay in landing as one engine had shut down butm not to panic as there are 3 more engines. That announcement was followed with "Im so sorry but, there will be...

Blonde A blonde and a brunette walking along the beach. A seagull flying overhead, dropped a little parcel on the blonde's head. The brunette offered to run to toilet block to get some tissue paper. "Don't be stupid said the blonde, by the time you get back, that seagull will be miles away"

If you pierce the yolk once with a skewer or tooth pick, the egg won't explode

I was taught that, water is chocolate's enemy so, why doesn't the chocolate seize?

Mix half bread crumbs and about quarter chicken seasoning mix together when crumbing, it adds a nice flavour to crumbed food

For sparkling glass in the shower, I use body wash in place of soap, no soap scum to be scrubbed off. I wipe the glass down with body wash on a loofah while in the shower then, rinse off. No effort needed at all and, the glass sparkles

Corn on the cob

Corn on the cob

As my dad would say. I am mowing the lawn, somebody had better clean up the Barkers eggs.before i get out there

Have proudly had both mine

I have just received that message, I have blocked the number several times but, I still get it almost daily. They just send it from a different number.

Jokes, fun and games What question can you not answer yes to?

Correct, sorry I took so long to answer, I was unavailable for a couple of days