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"Simples," like the meerkat, that new-found Strayan mammal, says ... "just wait for a windy day when the propellers get going to furnish enough energy to get the registers up and running."

"Lower prices ... ?" Just one word in answer to that -- it starts with BU, a couple of LLs followed by S, then HIT. And, just for good measure, there's an exclamation mark at the end.

No worries.

"self-aggrandising"? ... just saying.

No, but if I happened to be, my answer would still be the same ...

I wouldn't part with a brass razoo for the "privilege".

Next thing, we'll be having robots begging us to vote for them. Might as well, because the politicians we're saddled with now haven't got any brains, anyhow.

Did you happen to catch one of the latest get-rich-quick schemes that infest the antisocial media pages where our beloved little PM spruiks about how he'll "personally refund" any money you put into the scheme if the money you -- for want of a better -- "invested" in it doesn't return its...

In the same way that Twiggy Forrest, Ash Barty, Gina Rinehart et al. will succeed in their cases (or whoever has the deep pockets needed) to take Facebook to court -- and win -- for using their names and faces in the scam ads that infest the sites.

It's a bit like the "peeing in your own wetsuit" syndrome. You get an immediate feeling of relief, you get a warm, fuzzy feeling and, best of all, nobody else knows you're doing it ...

The magic word is "link".

Still waiting for the abject apology ...

So, why doesn't Channel Nine, for one, rush to the courts to take the scammers down when they use Nine "personalities" to promote the get-rich-quick schemes which abound on the media these days? Or Gina Rinehart, or Dick Smith, or Twiggy Forrest, or Ash Barty ... ?

Well, gee, golly, gosh ... it must be about time the advertising of candles and celery sticks gets banned, too, because of their exotic uses (or should that be "erotic"?). And, of course, we won't even contemplate the things that some people do with bananas!

Exactly!

Absolutely LOVE the way "like" has wormed its way into Strayan English. It's, like, we have to, you know, add "like" somewhere, like, in every sentence we offer these days to, like, get our message across ...

What? No "collectable" bits of plastic or "spend $30 at a time-come-in-ya-galah" have to haves for the dog to chew or "special, once-only" items when the end of the particular collecting saga is near and greed raises its ugly head?

If it's given on the anti-social media sites, then it MUST be true.

I once saw a sheila with XXXX tattooed on one of her boobs, CUB on the other and the cut of her dress displayed her deep and meaningful thoughts on the matter to a fine degree. I thought that was rather artful, as well as being informative. Pity, as the rest of her was fairly easy on the eyes. I...

I suppose you think every tat displayed around is a work of art?