Search results

Thought for the Day Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky Boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Coincidence? History Mystery Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were...

CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS" Old groaners. CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS" Old groaners 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an...

Manure Manure... An interesting fact Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less...

Three Ladies in a Sauna THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER...

One day on the Golf Course..... Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to...

Mood Ring My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a...

Questions You Just Can't Answer...... Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does...

Dedicated Wife DEDICATED WIFE Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation. The first guy says, 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... "Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist." The second guy says, 'I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you...

When Insults had Class. These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." A member of...

Letter of Recommendation. LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and...

Mood Ring My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his #*!@# forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy...

Woman Goes to a Fishing Store to buy a Rod and Reel for her Grandson. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter. The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says...

Landmarks 3 men are drinking at a pub at The Rocks in Sydney. One is an Egyptian, one is a Frenchman and the other is an Aussie. The Egyptian brags to the others, "Do you know it took only 100 years for the Egyptians to build the Great Pyramid?" The Frenchman comes back with "Did you know that...

The Monk A young monk entered a new monastery and was given a tour and instructions by the abbot. He was shown his room and told he could only say two words after ten years. Ten years later he stood before the abbot to say his two words. They were "bed hard". Ten years later he again stood...

New type of Wine A new type of wine is now being produced for those who enjoy their daily glass or to but have weak bladders. It's called Pinot More......