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Golden Syrup A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please...

The No. 91! Two Irish friends leave the pub. One says to the other, "I can't be bothered to walk all the way home." "I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home." "We could steal a bus from the depot," replies the mate. They arrive at the bus depot and one...

Who Is It?

How Destabilizing!! If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

And Then There Was One! The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, then it's you!

Leftovers (Adult) At the end of the tax year, the ATO [Australian Tax Office] sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the ATO agent was checking the books he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of...

Sarcasm I once got sent out of class for being too sarcastic. The teacher yelled at me, ''What would your parents Say if I called them right now?'' I replied, ''Hello''.

Surprise! My favourite part about opening The gifts labeled, ''From Mum & Dad'' Is that my dad is just as surprised to see What's inside, as I am !

''Whatever!!!!!''

Gee Pee!

Bring A Hanky! It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers!

Everything's Fine!

Scary Movies! A cow and a pig are watching TV. PIG: "Wanna watch something scary?" COW: "Okay by me." So the pig changes channel to the Food Network!

Daylight Robbery Thanks everyone for your phone calls and concern. First off, I'm OK, I was a bit shaken up though……. For those of you that aren't aware, I was robbed at a gas station earlier this morning. After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Police. They were quick to...

''I Know Nuffink!'' The Godfather hires a deaf bookkeeper, knowing he’d hear nothing and could never testify. He discovers that the bookkeeper has embezzled $10 million. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language...

Doin! A Runner A girl was having an affair while her father was at work One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her father's car pull into the driveway. “Oh My God – Hurry! Grab your clothes,” she yelled to her lover “And jump out the window My father's home...

Sex Education Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she stopped and stared at the ground. The father went over to her to see what had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. “Daddy...

Can't Wait!

To Good To Refuse!!!!

Bunnings! Fred asked his wife Mary if she would go to Bunnings Warehouse and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the employee to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom tap set. When the employee was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that...