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Father's Day!

''Black Eyed Peas''

Password Update!

And The Winner Is! " Mick, the Australian most beautiful woman award has just been announced....." " 22 gorgeous ladies from all around the country gathered at the Hilton hotel in Sydney......." " Make up artists had a field day preparing all the beautiful girls to stroll the catwalk with...

Pregnant At 71

''I Bet He Won't Jump!''

''Bless Me Father.'' ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to...

Roman Holiday A man 🧍‍♂️ settled into the Barber’s 💈 chair 🪑 and said, “Just tidy my hair up a bit please 🙏, because I’m off for a holiday in Italy 🇮🇹.” “Italy 🇮🇹! !!” exclaimed the Barber, “Don’t do it.” “But why?” said the man. “Well, the flight ✈️ over will be disgusting 🤮, they won’t feed...

Taking Sides! A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a...

Music!!!! Trying to disguise his voice, Carl calls his ex-wife and asks to speak to himself. Jody, his former wife says, "Carl, look, we are not married anymore -- quit bothering me!" The next day, Carl calls again, resulting in the same sequence of events. The following day though when he...

Caring & Sharing! I got attacked by ''Ransomware'' and was asked for money... I sent them my pay stub... Not only did they immediately remove the malware from my system, but they also put some money into my account.

Erectile Dysfunction! (Adult Content) Bob, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. His wife asked him, "What happened to you?" "I've had a terrible day!" says Bob. I had to go to a hotel, where a guest had died in his sleep! When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him...

Just Lucky I Guess! Little Johnny and the little girl next door are in love. One day Johnny goes to his mother and tells her that the two are getting married. She thinks this is absolutely adorable and asks, "Well Johnny, where are the two of you going to live?" He says they can live in her...

Red Potion No.9 Bob and his wife Jane received a letter from their daughter who had gone to study "Modern Biochemistry" overseas. She wrote, "My dear parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back, you will be so old. Therefore, I am enclosing a bottle...

Chocked!

Quart Out! Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one. "There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor. They moved back along the bar and soon the...

What Religion is Your Bra? What Religion is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies department of Marks & Spencer's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.' 'What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more...

Potato/Patato If GH can stand for ''P'' as in Hiccough? If OUGH stands for ''O'' as in Dough? If PHTH stands for ''T'' as Phthisis? If EIGH stands for ''A'' as in Neighbour? If TTE stands for ''T'' as in Gazette? If EAU stands for ''O'' in Plateau? Then the right way to spell POTATO...

Homeless! This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man. I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and...

The Redneck Motel! How can you tell that you are staying in a redneck motel? When you call reception and say "I've got a leak in my sink" and they reply with "Sure, go ahead".