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Scarey Stuff Ivan Millat is walking through Billangalo Forest at night with a backpacker. The backpacker turns to Ivan and says it’s a bit scary walking through here in the dark. Ivan replies it’s even scarier walking back on your own

Proofreading Headlines Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say? Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Really? Ya think? Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over What a guy! --------------------------------------------------------------- Miners Refuse to Work after Death...

Marital Troubles Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of his old red Massey Ferguson. Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first to the right, then to the left. He...

Try A Little Tenderness After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her...

Golden Wedding A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor. "Happy Anniversary Mum & Dad" gushed son number one, a surgeon, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a...

Back To Black!

Wall of Clocks A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the...

Escapee! I live near a zoo and occasionally animals escape. Usually birds or smaller animals. I awoke one morning last week to find a ruckus in the tree out in the yard. I went out and investigated and found a large gorilla in the tree. I rang the zoo and explained what had happened. A short...

Elf R&R! Last Christmas 3 of Santa's elves decided to take an extended holiday after delivering toys in Australia... They visited Fraser Island and hired a Mini Moke..... They were flying through the scrub enjoying the day but unfortunately their vehicle hit a submerged log.... The car...

''The Louisiana Purchase'' In class one day, Mr Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, 'Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.' Johnny was astounded and asked Mr Johnson to prove it. 'Well,' said Mr. Johnson, 'I was looking over your test...

Genealogy! Visiting a genealogist, a man asked how much it would cost to have his family tree traced. “It could cost thousands of dollars,” said the woman. “I see. Well, isn’t there an easier way? a less expensive way?” “Sure,” she replied. “Run for President.”

He Snows Rain! A couple is walking near the Kremlin They feel slight precipitation. "I think it’s raining," says the man. "No, it’s snowing," replies the woman. "How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"...

Watch Out! I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him, and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman... not on my watch.

My New Routine! I started a new workout routine this week, doing crunches twice a day... I do Cap'n in the morning and Nestle's in the afternoon.

Thai Die! I came home to find my wife boiling all mt cravats in a pot. I screamed ''What do you think you're doing?'' She said, '' I'm making a tie curry!''

Trust! A newlywed couple lies in bed, and the husband curiously asks his wife about the number of men she has been with. Despite his inquiry, the woman remains silent, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. Pressing the matter, the husband asks again, assuring her, “Just share it with me, it’s okay...

Whip Me!!! (Adult Joke) A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van (shag carpets, big double mattress in the back... ) when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!" The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity...

Leave As Found! Constant nagging didn't seem to provide any relief from having to clean up the bathroom after each of my three teenage children. After I cleaned it one day, I resorted to posting a sign that read: "Please leave the bathroom as you found it." I noticed the...

Slip Up! As she passed the young novices, Mother Superior said. "Good morning, ladies." And the novices replied. "Good morning, Mother Superior. May God be with you." But once they were past, she heard one novice say to another. "She got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Mother...