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It looks like he was run over He is certainly flat out after all that running.

Stops them from keeping their noses to the grindstone

I guess he must have been under extreme pressure to have been transformed so quickly. May explain the Parkinsons.

I always refer to a group of usually senior citizens discussing their health concerns as an organ recital. Every time I go to the doctor I am told I have something else wrong with me. This provides me with an opportunity to increase my resume.

Driving on wrong side of the road must be a left hand vehicle and a foreign ad.

Thanks for the jokes, I don't have the time to spend on FB and all those other sites so appreciate the time spent to share those you come up with. Don't care if I have heard them before most are new to me so Thank You.

Where will the mice go when they sufferred a second death? Not my idea of heaven. Do they get a second wish?

This year is probably my most difficult Christmas. My wife passed away 13th November after a 11 week cancer diagnosis. We were expecting to her living to Christmas and were determined to have a whole family celebration of her life with her present on 26th November but that turned out to be...

sounds like a dirty old man whom you wouldn't like to leae your daughters with

Its simple you take it twice a day with food and water, and don't overdose.

Don't blame Eve made it possible for you to be here, As they were innocent they were not into sexual relationships and by beig cast out of the garden they overcame their innocence. So Eve was the smart one who obeyed the law to multiply and replenish the earth. She was the smart one and she...

My daughter has one named Jack. He loves to sit next to 2 year old Thomas at the dinner table. It hardly hits the floor before its all cleaned up. Far more reliable than the robot cleaner which has to have everything cleared away before it will even start and then will often gie up at the...

Dogs fall into two categories "wee" dogs no matter what the size and "poodles" which their servants collect. Actally all dogs fall into both categories

That was a monstrous joke!!

I gave up alcohol 56 years ago, I now go to parties have a good time , remember it in the mornig and have no hangovers - Simply marvellous

Watch out Donald Daisy and Minnie Sourpuss is likely to find you appetising too. Disney has moved on to outer space these days and is not protecting its vintage stars of yesteryear

Talk about toilet humour enough to get your back up and keep your bottom down.