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A Soldier and the Sergeant. A soldier is reading a book while off duty when he sees his sergeant coming. Everyone hated sergeant Thompson, he always had a big stick up his butt. "Private." "Sergeant Thompson, Sir!" the soldier said, standing up smartly. "At ease." The soldier gladly returned...

A Blonde In The Burns Unit It's a regular day at the hospital when a Blonde woman comes into the burn ward with both of her ears burnt. The doctor in charge had never seen an injury quite like it. "How did you get both sides burnt like that?" He asked her. She says, "well... when I was...

A Man And His Dog A bloke walks into a bar with his dog and says, "I'll have a Scotch and water, and my dog would like a whiskey sour." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals in here." The dog replies, "Hey, I'm tired of being discriminated against. Just give me a drink." The...

Pinocchio Has Girl Problems. There is a folktale about Pinocchio, one that claims he never became a real boy, but instead grew up and became a wooden man. One night, Pinocchio's girlfriend says to him, “This stinks. I love you Pinocchio, but every time we make love... I get splinters.” So...

An Old Man and A Lady. A 70-year-old man goes to a hotel. He sits at the bar alone, when a gorgeous woman approaches him, whispers she's a prostitute and would he like a good time? The old man, a widower for many years, agrees and they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed. The old...

Man From China A Chinese man comes to Los Angeles for a holiday. He arrives at LAX and gets a cab to take him to his hotel. On the way he sees a few buses, and he says to the taxi driver: "The buses here are so noisy and really slow... In China the buses are very fast!" The taxi driver says...

A Government Employee A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp he's never seen before. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with...